


Love Before

by Current521



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College, F/M, M/M, No outline we die like men, Slow Burn, melissa is a lesbian and you can pry this from my cold dead hands, so the paul/ted tag is probably not worth it but eh, they have a date technically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 31,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22770997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Current521/pseuds/Current521
Summary: Ted's last year of college isn't exactly what was planned. Certainly not when he runs into Charlotte again and emotions get messy.
Relationships: Charlotte/Sam (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Charlotte/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins, Paul Matthews/Ted, Sam/Zoey (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Zoey/Ted (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 159
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this was inspired by the song "I've Never Been In Love Before" from Guys and Dolls because I cried backstage at every show, but then I abandoned that concept and just made a fun college/post-college AU in which no one dies

So Ted really isn't good at showing up for his classes. It's not that he doesn't wanna be there, except it is. But come on, it's 8am on a Monday, and he's been drinking all weekend, a two-hour lecture is the last thing he wants.

Unfortunately for him, he lives with Melissa, who has the same lecture, and absolutely wants to be awake for it. And who has also been drinking all weekend, but is somehow in a full face of makeup and looking perfectly fine by the time she wakes him up. Rather rudely, too, by ripping his covers off. "No," he complains, trying to tug them back, but he's not yet awake, and she very much is.

"Yes." She dumps his duvet in the opposite corner of the room. "Rise and shine, we have a lecture, and if you make me late again I might actually kill you."

Ted groans, but he sits up. "Is there coffee?"

She hands him a mug. "I'm not suicidal, I wouldn't dare to wake you up at seven without coffee."

"It's seven?" Ted puts the coffee down on the nightstand and lays down. "Nope. Not gonna do it, I'm not getting up at seven for an 8am, come get me in half an hour."

"Nuh uh." Melissa grabs his shoulder and pulls him upright. "You smell like puke from last night, you're taking a shower. And I'm making you eat breakfast, you haven't had solid food in two days."

"That's a lie," Ted says, but he puts no real argument into it, 'cause she's right. He just grabs his coffee. "I made Paul buy me chips."

"Aha." Melissa has somehow managed to manifest her own mug of coffee. "How are things with you and Paul, by the way?" She takes a sip and sits down next to him. "Do I wanna sit in your bed?"

"It's fine." He shrugs. "That was about the bed, no one but me has slept here since I last changed the sheets. About Paul… Same answer. It's fine."

"It's fine?" Melissa raises an eyebrow at him over the edge of her mug. "What are you, into him?"

"No, not at all." Ted probably replies too quickly, and he knows this. "No, I'm just intrigued by someone who's put up with me for this long without fucking me. What's his deal?"

It seems that she buys it, because she laughs. "I've put up with you for three years," she reminds him. "Hey, remember in freshman year when—"

"Probably not," Ted cuts her off. "I was drunk for most of freshman year."

"And sophomore year. And junior year. And we're only two months into senior year, and yet it seems like you've been drunk for most of this, too."

"I have." He nods and knocks back the rest of the coffee. "Also, you've only put up with me because I haven't tried to fuck you."

"Ted, we hooked up in freshman year, that's literally how we met." She shakes her head. "God I wish it wasn't true, but it is."

"Yeah, but you're a lesbian." He stands up. "Which means I legally have to support you. I'm gonna take a shower."

"Please do. I'm gonna make breakfast. If you take too long I'm coming to get you."

"Yeah sure." He closes the bathroom door. He half considers locking it, just because she would make good on her threat, but decides that it's probably better to just hurry, so he does. When he walks out to the kitchen, still only half dressed, Melissa's made pop tarts.

She looks at him. "Go get dressed before you eat."

"Are those pop tarts?" He asks instead of complying. "I thought you said you were worried about me not eating solid food."

"Our toast was mouldy, this is what we've got." She gestures at him with a knife. "Go get dressed."

"Alright." He turns to leave, but turns back to her after two steps. "Do we have the cinnabun ones?"

"No we don't. Shoo." She gestures again, with her hands this time.

"I'm going." And he does. He grabs whatever shirt is on the top of the pile in his closet, concludes it clashes with the pants he's wearing, and goes for a different one. Just because he's hungover doesn't mean he doesn't have style.

Melissa shoves two strawberry pop tarts at him along with his messenger bag, and then she's pulling him along to get to the lecture hall.

They get there just as the lecture starts. Ted manages to take a nap in the back row, because honestly, he already knows C++ and it's nothing he hasn't heard before. When he whispers this to Melissa as she wakes him, she shakes her head at him and says he'll regret it, but he ignores her.

What he will regret is asking Paul out for coffee instead of just going to a club like he normally does with dates. It's afternoon and the coffee shop is bustling, and the barista is crabby and stares at them. Ted thinks he's seen her at something before, but she isn't wearing a nametag, so nothing really rings a bell.

He sits down next to Paul with both their coffees. "That's a pretty boring order, you know, you should make better use of me paying." So his flirting skills could use some work, but in his defense, he hasn't actually tried the whole dating thing since he was 15; he's plenty good at hooking up in clubs, but a coffee date at three in the afternoon with a man who's wearing a god damn suit is new.

Paul smiles a little, though, so it's a victory. "I just prefer plain black coffee." He shrugs. "No need to mix it up."

"Have you ever had the caramel lattes here? They're amazing." Ted leans forward a little bit. "Honestly, they're so good, you think you've died and gone to heaven."

"I don't think so." Paul sips his coffee. "This is good."

"No, okay, here, try it." Ted pushes his own cup towards Paul. "I swear, it's so good."

Paul looks suspiciously at the cup, but he picks it up and takes a sip. Grimaces. Puts the cup down. "It's alright."

Ted slowly shakes his head. "You have terrible taste, Paul."

"I know." Paul looks at him a second too long, smiles a bit too wide. "I said yes to a date with you, didn't I?"

"Come on, that's low." Ted leaned back. "And after I bought you coffee and everything." He puts a hand to his chest, feigning insult. "I am  _ distraught _ that you would make such a joke at my expense."

Paul shakes his head at him, but he does chuckle a little bit. "Whatever. Hey, say, that barista up there, haven't I seen her somewhere?"

"I don't know." Ted shrugs. "I thought she looked familiar, but I didn't think we had the same circle of friends. But I mean, this is a small town, might've seen her around."

"Maybe." Paul is still looking at her. "I just feel… Anyway."

"What, you into her?" Ted chuckles. "I mean, I'll grant you, she is pretty."

"I guess." Paul abruptly stops looking at her and looks into his coffee instead. "I don't know. Isn't this meant to be a date?"

"Yeah, but I've known you for two weeks now and have been flirting with you the entire time, and you've yet to hook up with me, so I don't have high hopes for it," Ted replies, shrugging. "Go ahead and hit on her instead, I won't mind." In fact, he thinks to himself, he'll almost be relieved. Paul is a nice and attractive guy, but Ted has already stepped way out of his comfort zone, and he's really not invested enough. Maybe he wasn't really lying to Melissa in the morning.

"I won't." Paul shakes his head. "This might be our last date, though." He smiles, almost apologetically. "Sorry."

"No, I wasn't gonna ask again anyway, I've shot my shot with you. I officially declare this date over; we are now friends having coffee, and as your friend, I'm recommending that you go ask the cute barista her name."

Paul smiles. "Alright." He walks up to the counter and pretends to ask for something, and then asks for her name. Ted can't hear them, there's too much crosstalk in the coffee shop, but at least he sees Paul smile at her, and that's a good sign. He's still smiling when he sits back down at their table. "Her name is Emma," he says.

"Hmm, Emma…" Ted thinks. He's pretty sure he's met her before. "Oh! I know where I know her from, okay. Have fun."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Paul looks suddenly distressed. "Don't tell me you've hooked up with her."

"I've hooked up with most people, but no, not her." Ted laughs. "She was at an event for STEM majors last winter. Her and her sister, they look freakishly alike. I did hook up with her sister, she was a senior at the time, I hear she's married now." He shrugs. "Anyway, not Emma. She's all yours." He empties his cup and stands up. "Well, I've got things to do. See you around." He can't quite help himself, and leans down to kiss Paul on the cheek.

"Yeah, see you around," Paul mumbles in reply, and that's that. Ted leaves, Paul stays, and Ted is once again ready to get very drunk and hook up with a stranger.


	2. Chapter 2

Which is exactly what he does that night. He goes to a club, finds the nearest single-looking person, hits on her and buys her drinks until she goes home with him. Melissa is still awake and shakes her head at them, but leaves them be. The girl, whose name he's already forgotten, asks if she's his girlfriend, and instead of answering, Ted asks if his girlfriend would have that sort of reaction to him bringing someone home. She doesn't reply to that, but she fucks him twice, so he's not really bothered with talking.

She's not gone in the morning. She's also not in his bed. She's having breakfast with Melissa, who laughs when he drags himself to the kitchen. "Don't you laugh at me," he says, then sees the girl. "Oh hey." He manages a smile and wishes he wasn't so hungover.

"Hey." She smiles back at him. "How much did you drink before chatting me up?"

"Too much." He fills a mug with coffee and sits down. "Way too much."

"Zoey was just telling me about the theatre program," Melissa says, and Ted knows she's trying to help him. "I didn't even know there was one." He appreciates it, he really does.

"Oh yeah." He manages a smile. "I think we've seen one of their shows once, didn't I drag you along?"

"Oh right!" Melissa, who was absolutely the one to drag Ted along, smiles. "God… Something. Godspiel?"

"Godspell," Zoey says, smiling. "I was in that one."

"Hey, I remember that." Ted, who actually enjoyed the production and definitely knows its name, smiles. "You were the female lead, weren't you? God, I forget her name… You were great, though."

"Thanks." Zoey smiles, and Ted silently thanks Melissa for making him better than he is. "I was actually just an understudy, so I was only on that one night, but I'm happy you guys got to see it."

"Yeah, me too." Ted smiles. "Hey, tell you what, why don't I give you my number, and you can let me know when you have another show?"

"That would be great." Zoey looks genuinely excited, and Ted feels a little bad for her. She takes out her phone. "Just make a new contact or whatever."

"Sure." He considers, for a moment, typing in a fake number, but then again. Zoey is hot, and if he can get her back in his bed, well, he's not opposed. So he types in his actual number and hands back the phone with a smile. "There you go. All set."

"Thanks." She looks at the clock. "Ah shit, it's past ten, I should probably get going. I have a lecture at eleven."

"Oh yeah." Melissa smiles. "If you need a ride anywhere I'll steal Ted's keys, I don't think he's sober enough to drive yet."

"Hey," Ted protests, but she's right. "It's not stealing if I give them to you."

"It's fine." Zoey stands up. "It's not that far to walk. Thanks though." She smiles at Ted. "I'll text you."

"Sure thing." He smiles back. "See you around, Zoey."

"See you." She puts her phone back in her purse and leaves.

"Well." Melissa looks at the door for a moment. "She's certainly something."

"I guess." Ted shrugs. "Whatever. Thanks for covering for me, by the way."

"You owe me so many drinks tonight." Melissa finishes her breakfast and gets up. "Come on, she's not the only one with an 11am."

Ted groans. "I'm skipping it."

"No, you are not. Go get dressed, I'll make another pot of coffee."

"Remind me why I live with you," Ted says, but he knows the answer, so he just does as she says.

Zoey texts him the following week and says she has a show that Friday. Ted wants to ignore her, but unfortunately for him, Melissa has his phone when the text ticks in, so she answers for him. Which is how Ted ends up in the university’s theatre studio on a Friday evening. Melissa has gone with him, which he appreciates.

They arrive fifteen minutes before the show starts. Ted spots Charlotte, someone they’d worked with during an internship the year before, across the foyer and elbows Melissa. “Hey. Charlotte is here. Should I go say hi?”

“You’re literally here for another girl’s sake, should you be flirting right now?” Melissa asks, but it’s too late, because Ted has already begun walking towards Charlotte.

“Hey,” he says when he reaches her. “Charlotte, right?”   
“Oh.” She smiles. “Hi Ted.” She shakes his hand. “It’s been a while, how are you?”   
“Pretty good.” He smiles back. She’s still unfairly hot. “How about you? How are things with Sam?”

“Fine.” Her smile stiffens a little, though, and Ted considers this. “Sam is fine. He couldn’t be here tonight, but…”

“You here alone?” He raises an eyebrow. “You should come sit with me and Mels, I think it’s free seating.”   
“Melissa is here?” Charlotte perks up a little at that.

Ted does remember them talking quite a bit. “Yeah, yeah, we’re here together. Hey, how come you’re here, who do you know in the drama department?” He begins walking back to Melissa.

Charlotte follows. “Oh, no one, it’s… One of Sam’s friends, her name is Zoey, she’s in the show. Sam wanted to come too, but…”   
“Oh, Sam knows Zoey?” It shouldn’t surprise him. Charlotte’s boyfriend seems to know everyone. “Funny. She’s the one who invited me here too.”

“How do you know her, then?” They’d gotten up next to Melissa. “Hi Melissa.”   
“Hey Charlotte.” Melissa gives her a hug. “How are you?”   
“Good.” She looks back at Ted. “How do you know Zoey?”   
“Oh, uhh…” He should probably not tell her the whole truth, but then again. “We had a moment last week.”   
“If by  _ moment _ you mean sex,” Melissa adds drily, and there goes his plan of not telling Charlotte.

“Well yeah, but there’s no need to be crude.” He flashes a grin. “Come on, I think it’s about time we go find some seats, the show’s gonna start soon.”

Ted manages to place himself between Melissa and Charlotte for the show. It’s not a bad show, it’s a musical and Ted likes musicals, and Zoey does a good job, but he has better things to do. Namely putting a hand on Charlotte’s knee and see if she reacts. She doesn’t, so he leaves it.

When they sit back down after intermission he goes ahead and holds her hand, and she lets him. She gives him a kiss on the cheek when they say goodbye, and he’s ready to make a smartass comment to Melissa about it. Then she gives Melissa a kiss, too, so he doesn’t.

He texts Zoey that she did a good job, and she asks if he can wait for her to be done. He can, so he gives Melissa money for a cab.

Zoey comes to find him in the foyer. “Hey Ted.”   
“Hey.” He smiles and gives her a hug. “You were fantastic.”   
“Thanks.” She gives him a kiss. “I was wondering if you’d come home with me? The others are going out for drinks, but I’m pretty tired after the show, so I think I’d rather just do something chill.”   
“Sure.” He shrugs. He’s not invested in Zoey in any way, but he’s also 23 and not about to say no to sex. “I’ve got the car, let’s go.”

Zoey lives on campus, but her roommate is out for the week, so Ted’s not too bothered. He leaves before Zoey wakes up in the morning, but he does send her an apologetic text about it. Then he blocks her number.

He calls Charlotte on Sunday. “This is Charlotte,” she says.

“Hey, it’s Ted.” He tries to sound casual. “I realised I had your number from way back when, you know, it was nice to catch up with you at the show, I was wondering if maybe you’d come over for dinner? Melissa is talking about inviting a couple people over, and I know you guys are friends.” It is an utter lie, but he knew Melissa will cover his ass if he asks her to.

“Oh.” Charlotte sounds pleasantly surprised, which is better than disappointed. At least that’s what he tells himself; the truth is he’d hoped for her disappointment. “I’d love that. Um, can I bring Sam?”   
And there it was; he should’ve expected this. He hadn’t. “Sure,” he says anyway. “The more the merrier. 7pm.”   
“We’ll be there. Can you text me your address?”   
“Sure thing.” He smiles to make himself sound happier. “See you then.” He hangs up without waiting for an answer.

He walks into the living room. “Hey Mels.”

She looks up at him. “What? I know that tone, you’re about to ask me for a favour.”   
“I called and asked Charlotte over for dinner, Sam’s coming too, and I said it was because you were thinking of getting a few people together.” He smiles. “Please?”

She sighs. “One condition: Invite Zoey.”

“Why? I literally snuck out yesterday, I don’t think she’s a fan of me.”   
“Because the way Charlotte talked about her, I think Sam’s cheating on her. With Zoey. So we might as well make it as awkward as possible for him.”   
“Fine, but I’m inviting Paul too, then.” He takes out his phone. “At least he’s not involved with any of this and I have an easy fake boyfriend.”

“No you’re not.” Melissa takes his phone from him. “Not because you’re wrong, just because he doesn’t deserve to get involved, he’s a nice guy. I’ll invite someone, don’t worry.” She hands back his phone. “Call Zoey.”   
“Alright.” He should probably be worried about what  _ someone _ means, but he isn’t. He trusts Melissa. He texts Zoey instead of calling her, after unblocking her number, but she says yes to coming, so she’s probably not as mad as him as she could be. It’s possible she hasn’t even noticed that he had her number blocked for 24 hours.


	3. Chapter 3

Two of Melissa’s friends, Cassandra and Rose, arrive first, then Zoey shows up — she kisses Ted hello, which he hates, but lets happen anyway — and then Charlotte and Sam.

Zoey takes a step away from Ted the second Sam steps through the door. “Hi Sam,” she says, smiling slightly.

“Oh hey Zoey, I didn’t realise you were gonna be here.” Sam looks past her. “You must be Ted?”

“Yeah, hi.” Ted flashes a smile. “Hey Charlotte, good to see you.”   
“Hi Ted.” She smiles. “Hi Melissa.”

Everyone gets introduced, and then Melissa leads them to the kitchen. She’s borrowed chairs from two other flats in the building, because they’re seven people and Ted and Melissa have exactly three chairs between them, but their table is big enough. She also manages to decide how everyone sits, placing Sam between Charlotte and Zoey, although she puts Ted next to Zoey instead of Charlotte. It’s fine. He shouldn’t be flirting with Charlotte when Sam is there anyway, and Melissa has practically ordered him to flirt with Zoey, just to see how uncomfortable Sam gets. She’s managed to place herself next to Charlotte, but that’s more a courtesy than anything else; he sees her flirt with Rose, on her other side, while Cassandra politely ignores them.

Which means she turns to Ted. “So, Ted, are you in computer science too?” she asks, looking at him.

“Uh, yeah.” He smiles. “Yeah, I am. What are you studying?” It’s an innocent enough question, he figures, plus, Zoey pushed his hand away when he tried to put it on her leg, so he’s not really bothering with her.

“Literature,” Cassandra replies. “I’m focusing on queer literature.”   
“Oh cool.” And he means it and is about to ask her something else about it, but Zoey takes his hand.

“Ted?” she asks, and he turns to her. A second later, she’s pulled him into a kiss.

He breaks away too quickly, but smiles at her. “Just a moment babe.” He turns back to Cassandra. “Sorry, you were saying? Queer literature sounds cool, how far back does that go in your research?”

He manages to just talk to Cassandra about books and queer history and steadily ignore Zoey, even if he doesn’t pull his hand back. And she doesn’t leave when Cassandra and Rose do, and not when Sam and Charlotte do either.

He gives her a kiss. “Do you want a ride home?” he asks, once Sam and Charlotte have left.

“I was thinking of staying, if it’s alright?” She wraps an arm around him.

“I have a lecture at 8am.” It’s not a lie. He’s probably not gonna attend the lecture, but he doesn’t want Zoey to sleep over. “I’m gonna have an even harder time getting up if you’re here.”

“Oh.” She looks disappointed, but then smiles. “A ride home might be nice.”   
“Sure.” He grabs his jacket. “Let’s go then.”

He drives her home and kisses her goodbye in the car and wonders exactly why he’s bothering.

Melissa is sitting in the kitchen when he comes back. She’s done the dishes and returned the borrowed chairs, godsend as she is, and has made coffee. “Come sit down for a moment,” she says, and Ted complies.

“What’s up?” He takes the mug of coffee she pushes towards him. “Thanks.”

“Yeah. I was right, Sam is absolutely seeing Zoey.” She smiles a little. “She was trying to catch his attention, but he wasn’t gonna say much when Charlotte’s there, of course, so she decided to hang on to you. Sorry about that, but you seemed like you managed okay.”   
“Yeah, it’s fine.” He shrugs. “Would’ve liked to talk to Cassandra without her interrupting, she had actual interesting stuff to say.”   
“They,” Melissa corrects.

“Sorry, they had actual interesting stuff to say. Anyway, just because Zoey’s into Sam and decided to try her chances with me when he brushed her off doesn’t mean he’s seeing her on the side.” Ted mostly wants to go to bed. “What if it’s just Zoey.”   
“You were mostly talking to Cassie, so you probably didn’t notice, but Sam was fuming. He stopped paying any attention to Charlotte when Zoey kissed you, he was just being pissy. He’s definitely jealous.” Melissa laughs. “It’s hilarious to watch.”   
“Oh come on, when he has a girlfriend he can’t say anything.” Ted shrugs. “So what. I’m done with Zoey, I actually was yesterday if it weren’t for you. You owe me something.”   
“If you don’t ghost Zoey just yet I have an idea to split up Sam and Charlotte.” She smiles. “And yes, I’m only doing it because you’re hopelessly in love with Charlotte and I want you to have a chance with her.”   
“I’m not  _ in love _ with Charlotte,” Ted protests, somewhat halfheartedly. “I’m into her. Not the same thing. But alright, tell me your plan.”

“Okay, here’s the thing; I think Sam likes Zoey more than he likes Charlotte.” Melissa drummed on the table. “I really think he does. But he’s a jerk who’s stringing both of them along. So if we just get him jealous enough about you and Zoey, he’ll probably say something, and then we can tell Charlotte he’s been cheating on her — and by  _ we _ I mean  _ you _ because you’ll want to be her shoulder to cry on, and there you go. Pity sex or whatever it is you do.” Melissa leans back in her chair and looks very satisfied with herself.

“If you’re so sure, why not just tell Charlotte now? It’s quicker, and it means I can go block Zoey’s number and never have to talk to her again.” Ted shakes his head. It’s not that Melissa’s plan is bad, per se, it’s just that it involves him hooking up with Zoey again. And yeah, the sex is decent, but it’s only decent, and he has better people to fuck. And he doesn’t really like her that much, after all.

“Because it’s Charlotte,” Melissa replies, looking at him like he’s an idiot. “Sam can do no wrong in her mind. We need to have solid proof, it’s not enough to say he looked jealous of you and Zoey, she’ll say he just has a lot on his mind. You know that.”   
“Maybe she already knows,” he suggests instead. “I mean, she’s not exactly brushing me off, maybe they’re in an open relationship. Then I can hook up with her anyway.”

“Sure.” Melissa shrugs. “Go ahead. I’m going to bed.”   
“Goodnight.”

Ted stays up too late, thinking. He doesn’t normally put this much thought into a hookup, but well. He’s been into Charlotte for over a year.

When he eventually goes to bed, it’s only after texting Zoey something shitty and blocking her number.

It’s not like Melissa is gonna let him skip their 8am lecture, especially not when he isn’t hungover, but that doesn’t mean Ted doesn’t try to convince her. He sits somewhere else out of spite, and slightly to flirt with some guy with a nose piercing and too much time to dick around in photoshop while they’re in yet another C++ class. He doesn’t know why they’re even teaching it again, they’d spent the entire first semester of freshman year just learning programming languages, so Ted doesn’t really blame the guy who dicks around on photoshop. Not to mention, sitting next to him and flirting poorly earns him a photoshopped picture of their teacher’s head on a jackass, after Ted has whispered the third correction under his breath, and then it earns him the guy’s number when he asks if he can send the jackass picture over.

The guy, whose name turns out to be Carlos, texts him the picture and nothing else. Ted says thanks and throws a wink in, but he doesn’t mind if that’s all it becomes. It probably is; he’s not in the mood for anyone who has his number, not after Zoey.

Who he of course runs into in one of the cafes on campus when he’s getting his coffee refill after lunch. She glares at him, so he smiles. “Hey Zoey.” She’s in front of him in line, so there’s really no way to avoid her. “How are you doing?”   
“Fine.” She looks away. “Not thanks to you.”   
“No, well, I hadn’t expected that.” He shrugs. “Have you talked to Sam?”   
“Sam? Why would I talk to Sam?” She looks at him now, but she’s clearly still in a terrible mood.

“What, I thought you guys were friends.” He raises an eyebrow. “Or no, I thought you were hooking up with him, but friends is what Charlotte told me.”   
“Don’t say that,” she hisses under her breath. “What if someone hears. What the fuck, how do you know anyway?”   
Ted doesn’t care if anyone hears, in fact he almost prefers it, but he lowers his voice to answer her anyway. “I mean, you’re not exactly subtle, you were trying to catch his attention, and when he didn’t give it to you, you decided to make out with me instead. And he was fuming about it, so I guessed it wasn’t one-sided. Thanks for confirming, by the way, I wasn’t sure Charlotte would believe me, but she will now.” He smiles. He’s being mean to her, but he doesn’t really care, and honestly? She kinda deserves it.

“Ted, please, don’t— Don’t tell Charlotte. Come on, you owe me better.”   
“Do I?” Ted raises an eyebrow. “I mean, sure, but since when am I a good enough person for that?”

Zoey’s expression drops. “What do you want? What do I give you to make you not tell Charlotte?”

“Tell her yourself. Hey, it’s your turn to order.” He nods towards the register.

Zoey hangs around and waits for him to order. “Come on, seriously, is there a way I get out of this without you telling Charlotte about me and Sam?”

“Hmm.” Ted thinks for a moment. “Tell Sam to break up with her. You have a week, if she’s not single by then, I’ll tell her.” He smiles. “See you around, Zoey.”

He tells Melissa about the exchange when she asks why it took so long for him to get their coffees. She tells him he’s a terrible person, but he shrugs and says they’re late for their lab, so she drops the subject. It’s not like she’s wrong, he just doesn’t need to be reminded.


	4. Chapter 4

A week later, he calls Charlotte. Just to see how she's doing, he tells himself. Just because he's curious. Not because he's actually gonna make good on his threat to Zoey.

"Hey Ted." She sounds cheerful. "What's up?"

"Hey, just wanted to see how you're doing." He can't help but smile. Okay, so maybe he's a little more than  _ into  _ Charlotte, sue him. He stands by not being in love with her. "It's been a hot second, and we didn't even get to talk much when you were over."

"Yeah, I didn't realise you and Zoey were dating, how are things?" She laughs. "Didn't take you for a boyfriend type."

"I'm not," he says, because it's true. He isn't. But he kinda doesn't want Charlotte to think that. "We're not dating, she's just… It's kind of a long story. She's pretty mad at me at the moment." He laughs it off. "Anyway, how are things with you and Sam?"

She's quiet for a second too long. "It's fine."

"Doesn't sound like it's fine." He tries to be softer. "Sorry, I guess it's not my place to pry, I just figured… Well, I'm here if you need to talk." He shrugs, even though she can't see him.

"Thanks." She sounds a little happier, which is nice. "That would be nice actually, do you have plans tonight?"

He does, but that's not gonna stop him. "No, not at all. Do you wanna come here?"

"That would be nice." He can hear her smiling. "I'll be by after dinner at some point if that's okay?"

"Absolutely. I'll see you tonight."

"See you." She hangs up.

Ted walks to the living room. "Hey Mels?"

"What do you want now? You're asking me a lot of favours lately." She's reading, and she does not look happy.

"No favour. I just wanted to tell you that Charlotte is coming by tonight, and I plan on telling her about Sam and Zoey, so you know, be prepared for whatever ensues." He sits next to her. "What's up? You seem upset."

"I just… Ugh." She puts her book away. "Okay, I asked Rose out, and she said no. And I know she's into Cassie and that's fine, but it still kinda sucks, you know?"

Ted thinks about Charlotte and Sam. "Yeah, I know." He smiles. "It's not the end of the world. There are lots of girls out there, and like, Cassie's cool, but they're not half as cool as you." He puts an arm around her. "You'll be alright."

"Yeah, I know, I'm just upset." She elbows him. "You know, since Charlotte is coming over, I might skip out and give you some privacy, but only if you do me a favour."

"What's up?" There are a lot of things Ted is willing to do for alone time with Charlotte.

"Pay for my movie ticket." She grins.

"Done." Ted takes out his wallet. "I'll give you a 20, then you can get a snack as well. No, it's a movie theatre, probably not, but keep the change anyway." He hands her a 20. "You're the best."

"Better believe it." She smiles. "Thanks. When is she coming?"

"Sometime after dinner. Which is good, because I need to cancel on Paul." He takes out his phone and types out a text. "Done."

"You're ditching a date to tell Charlotte that her boyfriend is a douchebag?"

"Nah." Ted grins. "It's not a date, it's Paul. It's going for drinks. Not in a date way. He'll be fine." His phone chimes, and he checks his texts. "See? Fine." He holds out his phone so that Melissa can see Paul's disinterested affirmative reply. "He didn't even want to go, probably."

“Alright.” Melissa gets up. “I’m gonna go get ready. Can you make dinner?”

“You’re pushing it, but sure.” He smiles. “Go do your thing.”

Melissa goes to her room to get ready — whatever that means, Ted isn’t entirely sure — and he goes to make dinner for them.

Melissa leaves, and half an hour later, there’s a knock on the door. Ted goes to open. Charlotte is outside. “Hey.” He smiles at her. “Come on in.”   
“Thanks.” She steps inside and gives him a hug. “It’s good to see you.”   
“You too.” He returns the hug, and if he lingers a little too long, well. No one’s gonna notice. “How are you?”   
She shrugs. “Alright, I guess. I’ll tell you about it. Is Melissa home?”   
“Nah, she’s at the movies.” And he’s grateful to her for it. “So it’s just us.”

Charlotte smiles. “Alright.” She’s taken off her coat and shoes by this point. “Did you have any plans?”   
“Nah, I figured we’d just have a talk, hang out, you know, relax.” He smiles back at her. “Do you want coffee? A drink? Anything?”   
“Not right now.” She walks into the living room. “I uhh, there’s something I wanna talk about, and I guess you’re my best bet, since you offered.”   
“Sure.” Ted sits on the couch and gestures for her to sit next to him, which she does. “What’s up? I said I’m here if you wanna talk, I stand by it.”   
“Thanks.” She smiles at him. “It’s just… It’s Sam. We’ve been together for six years now, and we’ve started talking about getting married, but I don’t know, he doesn’t seem that invested in it.”   
Ted shrugs. “You know, I wish I could say he’s not the marrying type or something, but… I’m sorry, I don’t wanna keep secrets from you.” It’s technically true. But it feels very performative to say.

“What are you talking about?” Charlotte looks suddenly concerned. “You barely know Sam, you—”   
“I know, just hear me out. I don’t know if you noticed, but when you guys were here, Zoey was flirting with Sam, and… Well, I talked to her, and she said she’s been sleeping with Sam. Which means he’s cheating on you.” He tries to sound sympathetic, and he thinks he manages, but it’s hard. Mostly he’s vindictive, but vindictive won’t get him anywhere with Charlotte.

“What?” She looks at him for several seconds, tears welling up in her eyes. “No, no, that’s not true, Zoey’s lying, she must be, she’s just trying to make you jealous, she—”   
“Charlotte.” Ted reaches out to take her hand, because it feels like the right thing to do. “I’m sorry, I know this must be a shock, but… It’s not that. I noticed already when you guys were here, she was trying to flirt with him, and when he brushed her off, she turned her attention to me, I guess because she figured I wasn’t gonna brush her off. But it’s not just that, I think she was trying to make Sam jealous, and it worked. He was fuming about it.” He smiles and tries to remain sympathetic. “She told me last week. I would’ve told you sooner, but I promised Zoey I wouldn’t tell you for a week, if she’d try to get Sam to break up with you first. I figured that would suck less.”

“Oh.” She’s quiet for far too long, so Ted pulls her into a hug, because he doesn’t know what else to do. “I… I kind of already knew,” she admits after a while. She’s leaned into him by now. “I figured, I just, I guess I hoped…”   
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news.” He pulls her closer and even chances a kiss on the top of her head. “I just figured it was nicer for you to know, if Sam isn’t gonna leave you, or if Zoey isn’t gonna tell him to, at least.” He doesn’t know why he keeps talking. He should just shoot his shot or accept that nothing’s gonna happen.

A moment later, Charlotte looks up at him, and he’s kinda happy he hasn’t. “I wish I could do something to make him understand how terrible it is, but I don’t even think he’d care.”   
It’s a great setup. “One way to find out.” He raises an eyebrow, but leaves it there; he actually doesn’t wanna make Charlotte hate him.

“I guess.” She’s very close, and she’s looking him in the eyes, but he’s not blind, and she glances at his lips a few times. “I guess.” She doesn’t move away.

“It’s up to you.” He doesn’t move away either. He doesn’t lean in, either, but he can’t help but glance at her lips, too.

She smiles, and then she kisses him. Very quickly. Then she draws back. “I shouldn’t…” She sighs and doesn’t free herself from his embrace. “I shouldn’t,” she repeats, less hesitant.   
“No, well.” He smiles a little. He’s not sure what he expected, but certainly not this. He’s okay with it. “Sam shouldn’t, either. So.”

“You’re right.” She kisses him again, longer this time. “I don’t know.”   
“That’s alright.” He brings a hand up to cradle her face. “Take your time.” This part he knows. This part he’s done before, a hundred times, a million times. He leans in to brush his lips against hers, very lightly.

She responds, predictably, by chasing the kiss and then pulling him closer. It’s nice. He’s thought about kissing Charlotte way too often, but actually doing it is a lot better.

He doesn’t mind just kissing. He doesn’t mind if she pulls away and decides to go home and regret it. He doesn’t mind when she slides her hands under the collar of his shirt, either. He does, however, break the kiss to smile. “Hey, if we’re gonna do this, just, out of respect for Melissa, let’s head to my room.”

“Sure.” Charlotte smiles a little. “I don’t know… If…”   
“That’s fine.” He probably says that too quickly, but he always does. “We’ll see what happens. Either way, she’s probably happier not walking in on us making out.” He smiles. “Come on.” He considers carrying her, because he’s probably strong enough and it’s exactly the kind of dumb shit that’ll impress her, but he decides to save it. Pretend like there’ll be a next time.

“Yeah.” Charlotte smiles and holds his hand when they walk to his room. “I don’t know… This is new. This is not normal.”

“It’s alright.” Ted sits on his bed and holds out his arms. “It’s up to you.”   
“Yeah.” Charlotte stands for a moment, looking like she’s thinking. Then she sits on Ted’s lap, leaning into him. He wraps his arms around her. “I think…” She hesitates. “I think this is fine. For now, at least.”

“That’s good.” He kisses her head. “Your call. You can stay as long as you like.” That’s technically a lie, because Melissa can and will kick her out in the morning and drag Ted’s ass to class, but he doesn’t need to tell her that. He just needs to smile at her until she kisses him again.

Which she does. And she slides her hands under his shirt again, so he takes the liberty of doing the same to her. And she doesn’t stop him when he pushes her sweater off, but he lets it hang for a bit then. He has time and no desire to rush this. Charlotte isn’t quite on the same page as him, because as soon as she has his shirt off, she reaches for his belt. He chuckles, but he lets her set the pace, because he doesn’t care anymore. This is Charlotte, and he’s wanted her for over a year, so he’s willing to forego his own principles and let it be messy and ultimately unsatisfying sex. It’s still better, because it’s her.

She’s gone in the morning, because of course she is, but his pillow kind of smells like her shampoo, and for once, he manages to convince Melissa that no, he really is skipping this morning class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: this is a slow burn  
> Me: they hook up in chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway I would die for Melissa

It’s not that Charlotte doesn’t call or text, and it’s not that she doesn’t reply when he texts her. It’s just that she’s still dating Sam. He knows this because he sees them in Beanie’s one day, and Charlotte takes one glance at him, then immediately turns to make out with Sam. He ignores them and chats up Emma. He asks if Paul has been by any more, and she tells him they’re dating now. He says he’s happy for them, because he is. Then he asks about her sister, because Charlotte is behind him and he doesn’t wanna turn around. Her name is Jane, which he definitely remembered before Emma says it, and she’s married and pregnant. Good for her, he says, and actually does remember her talking about a fiance before. Poor guy. He doesn’t tell Emma this, just thanks her for her time, takes a deep breath, and turns to face Charlotte.

“Hi Ted.” She isn’t smiling.

“Oh hey.” He smiles because he refuses to acknowledge that anything is different, even though everything is different. “Didn’t see you.” A lie. “How are you?” He doesn’t care, except he does, and he doesn’t want to.

“Alright.” She does smile a little bit, then. “It’s mine and Sam’s sixth anniversary.”   
“Oh. Congratulations.” He’s suddenly happy he ordered coffee to go. “Well, I’m kind of in a rush, but I’ll see you later.” He leaves without waiting for her to reply. It’s been two weeks since they hooked up, and she hasn’t even replied to his texts — a whole two of them, which really isn’t bad in two weeks — so he’s not gonna bother spending time on her anymore.

“Oh, alright.” She puts a hand on his arm, which makes him stop abruptly. “Ted? I’m sorry. I just… It’s been a busy few weeks. Talk to you later?”   
“Sure,” he replies, because he does want to talk to her, just not right then. “I gotta go.”

“See you.” She smiles and drops her hand from his arm.

Ted rushes to his car, but he doesn’t have anywhere to be, so he drives back to his and Melissa’s apartment instead. He stays in the car. He calls Paul.

“This is Paul.”   
“Hi, it’s Ted.” He forces himself to sound happier than he feels. “I just talked to Emma, I hear you guys are dating now? Congrats.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Paul sounds genuinely surprised. “I didn’t think I’d hear from you anymore.”   
“Nah, me either.” Ted sighs. “But hey, I was there for the beginning of this whole thing, gotta see it through. Plus, I had an uncomfortable run-in at Beanie’s and Emma saved me a little bit, so I figured I owed her a thanks, but I don’t know how to contact her.” He shrugs, knowing full well that Paul can’t see him. “Also, I have like two friends, I’m not opposed to actually like, seeing you again, not on a failed date. Tell you what, I’m going out tonight, come with. Bring Emma if you want, I’m just looking to have a good time, I’ll probably make Melissa come as well.”   
“I don’t know…” Paul sounds like he’s looking for an excuse to say no. “I’m not really a club type, you know that.”

And because he does, Ted has already thought of a response. “Not a club. A pub. Just sitting down for drinks and a chat because we’re friends and it’s been more than a month. Please, Melissa needs a night out, and she’s not gonna go unless I give her a reason, and me not third-wheeling you guys is a good enough reason.”   
Paul sighs. “I’ll ask Emma. I’ll text you later.”   
“Cool. Thanks Paul.”

“Right. See you later, Ted.” Paul hangs up without waiting for a response.

Now that he kind of has plans, Ted walks up to the apartment to find Melissa and talk her into coming out.

Paul texts him later and agrees to go out, which gives him all the ammunition he needs to make Melissa come with them, so by 9pm, the four of them are in a pub, having drinks. Ted has a good time; he doesn’t think about Charlotte, or about sex, or about missed opportunities. Instead he thinks about the girl at the bar who’s wearing a denim jacket with a lesbian flag patch and how he can convince Melissa to chat her up. He corners Emma at the pool table and gets her in on it. Now to get Melissa in on it too.

It turns out not to be that hard. “Hey Mels,” he says during a break in conversation, leaning in and lowering his voice. “That girl at the bar, do you know her? The lesbian.”

“I think I’ve seen her around,” Melissa answers, glancing over. “Why do you ask? You gotta know you don’t have a chance.”   
“She wouldn’t be the first lesbian I’ve hooked up with.” He grins because Melissa hates being reminded of their rather disastrous one night stand even more than he does. “But no, I’m not interested. I was just wondering if you are.”   
“You should be,” Emma adds, and Ted smiles gratefully at her. “She’s very hot.”

“I guess.” Melissa stirs her drink. “I don’t know.”   
“Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do.” Ted gestures for her to lean in, and she does. “You’re gonna go up and sit next to her. Smile. Say hi. Ask her name. You don’t need to remember it, but it’s probably smart. Tell her your name — fake one if you want, but you do need to remember that one and it’s easier to just actually use your name. Anyway. Offer to buy her a drink, smile a lot, find an excuse to touch her, keep up the smalltalk. And there you go. Either you’ll find out very quickly if she’s not interested, or you got yourself a good night.” He reaches for his wallet and gives her a twenty. “For the drink or the cab home, stay safe, you’re the best.”   
Melissa rolls her eyes at him, but she takes the twenty. “Thanks.” She shrugs. “It seems to always work for you, so why not.” She walks up to the bar and sits down next to the girl they’d pointed out.

Paul, Emma, and Ted keep chatting, but Ted keeps an eye on Melissa. Twenty minutes later, she’s making out with the girl she’d walked up to. Another twenty minutes after that, they’re leaving together. He sends her a thumbs up and a smile.

Paul and Emma head out not long after Melissa. Ted considers sticking around and finding someone lonely to hook up with, but he eventually decides just to go home.

He can hear Melissa and the girl in her bedroom, so he heads to bed as quietly as possible and silently hopes that the girl will be gone before he wakes up.

Unfortunately for him, she’s on her way out right as he goes to get breakfast, and she stops dead in her tracks when she sees him. “Hi.” She looks like a deer in the headlights.

“Hi,” he says. “You’re welcome to leave, I’m not bothered, I get it. I’ve pulled the same stunt.”   
“I just…” She looks at the closed door of Melissa’s bedroom. “I don’t know, she doesn’t seem like she’s done this before?”   
“Oh, she hasn’t.” Ted shoos her with one hand. “Go. I’ll deal with her, don’t worry about it. I mean, this is a small town and you might run into her, but that’s always an option with these things, so. Just go.” He smiles.

“Thanks.” She heads for the door, and Ted goes to make breakfast.

When Melissa gets up, she’s kind of upset about the woman having left, so Ted sits her down and tells her how these things work, making sure he throws in that he’s proud of her and even manages to say he loves her, which he does, but usually only says when he’s drunk. By the time they’re done with breakfast she’s smiling, though, so he considers himself successful.


	6. Chapter 6

By the time dinner rolls around, Melissa has managed to turn the conversation from her problems to his. Not that Ted has problems, except he does. He has one specific problem, and her name is Charlotte.

“Have you even talked to her since you slept with her?” Melissa asks. “You should probably talk to her.”   
“She doesn’t wanna talk to me.” Ted shrugs and doesn’t look at her. “I tried texting her. Twice. I’m not desperate. I ran into her at Beanie’s literally yesterday, and it was incredibly awkward. It was hers and Sam’s anniversary. Six years. She knows he’s cheating, and she’s cheated on him too, and apparently that’s not good enough. Who knows, maybe they’ve talked it out. I don’t care.”

“Give me your phone.” Melissa holds out a hand. “Don’t question me.”

“I don’t trust you,” Ted says, but he hands her his phone, reminding himself to change the password on it, because Melissa knows it.

She taps through a few things. “Jeez, how many blocked numbers do you have?”   
“I don’t know, a lot. Why are you looking at that anyway?”   
“I need to get a hold of Zoey. Is it the most recent one?” Melissa looks up at him. “I told you not to question me.”   
“It’s the most recent one.” Ted sighs. “I’m letting you do this, but what the fuck?”

“Just watch.” Melissa takes out her own phone and types in a number — Zoey’s apparently — and then calls. “Hi Zoey, it’s Melissa, remember me? Yeah, Ted’s friend, yeah, don’t hang up on me, give me a second.” There’s a moment of silence as Zoey seems to reply. “Right, okay, so you’ve been sleeping with Sam, and Charlotte knows this, I was just wondering if you know anything they’ve been talking about? No, I think Ted might kill me if he knows about this, don’t worry, I won’t tell him. Charlotte’s my friend, but I’m not gonna make things worse by asking her. I just wanna know.” She sighs as Zoey speaks. “Right, okay. Thanks Zoey. Hey, can you send me Sam’s number? I wanna give him a piece of my mind.” She does keep her phone up for a second, so Zoey replies, but she doesn’t say anymore. Just looks at Ted and smiles.

“What the fuck?”

“I’m doing this for you.” She tosses his phone back to him. “Because you’ve been in love with Charlotte for over a year now, and that’s sad.”   
“I’m not in love with her,” he reminds her, because he isn’t. “She’s just hot.”   
“Aha. And that normally makes you hook up with people and then block their number, and yet, when you hooked up with her, you tried to get her attention and refused to get out of bed when she ghosted you.” Melissa gets up. “I’m going to bed, we have class in the morning. You’re coming.”   
“I am not.” Ted gets up. “I wanna sleep in. Don’t wake me up.”   
“Don’t tell me what to do.” She stops him to give him a hug. “Hey. You’re my best friend. I’m trying.”   
“I know.” He hugs her back. “Just… Can you let the Charlotte thing go? It’s fine.”

“Sure.”

He doesn’t trust her, but he’s tired and heads to bed, not thinking about Charlotte.

He does go to class with her the next morning, but out of spite, he goes to sit next to Carlos again. “Hi Ted.” He doesn’t look up from his screen.

“Hey.” Ted opens up his own laptop. “Are we finally moving on from C++?”

“Nope.” Carlos sends him a smile at that. “Which is why I’m glad you’re here, at least you make this lecture slightly interesting.”   
“Glad to help.” Ted smiles back. “It’s a terrible class.”   
“I agree.” Carlos lowers his voice as the professor begins speaking. “Hey, tell you what, I’m terrible at this, and you seem to know your stuff, could I get you to talk me through it? I’ll buy you coffee?”   
“Sure.” So Ted spends the rest of the lecture not paying attention, and instead walking Carlos through the syllabus in a whisper. He suspects Carlos of knowing more than he lets on, but he doesn’t say anything.

After the lecture, he quickly catches Melissa to say he’s doing something else during their free period, then walks with Carlos to a cafe on campus to get coffee and continue their impromptu study session.

“What do you want?” Carlos asks, getting in line.

Ted spots Charlotte across the cafe, alone, and decides to up the flirting, so he takes a step closer to Carlos. “Just whatever. I’m used to Melissa making coffee at home, which tastes terrible, so anything works.”   
Carlos laughs at that. “Hey, what’s the deal with you and Melissa? You dating or something?”   
“No, god no.” Ted can’t quite hide a laugh at that. “God no, we’re good friends. We live together. But no, we’re absolutely not dating, god no.”   
“Hmm, when you say it like that it kinda sounds like you’re into her.” Carlos raises an eyebrow. “Just saying.”   
Ted shakes his head. “If you must know, she’s a lesbian, and yeah, I have a tendency to go for people who are not interested in me in any way, but I like to pretend I have a bit of a chance, and with her? No. Not gonna happen. Plus, there has to be someone who’s gonna listen to me rant about disastrous dates.” He laughs. “No, I’m not into her, she’s a good friend.”

“Alright.” Carlos smiles, and turns to order.

They sit down once they’ve gotten their coffee. Charlotte is still there, so Ted is still flirting too much. It’s alright. Carlos is nice and doesn’t flirt back, but he also doesn’t brush him off, and with them just studying and having coffee, it’s easy to keep it lowkey and still obvious. And he probably shouldn’t be thinking that much about Charlotte and what she thinks of him, but he does, and he does feel kind of happy when he catches her staring at them, looking concerned and perhaps even a little pissed off.

By the time Christmas break rolls around, Ted has managed to not think about Charlotte for a whole month. At least that’s what he tells Melissa when she brings it up the day before going home for the break. In truth, he thinks about her all the time, but she’s with Sam, and it doesn’t matter.

Ted doesn’t go home for the holidays. He calls his sister and promises to get her a present when she comes around to visit, but mostly he just hangs about.

As it turns out, he’s not the only one with a strained family relationship; he heads to Beanie’s Christmas Eve morning, and Emma is working. “Heya,” he says. “I figured you’d be back with your family.”   
“They literally live in town,” she replies, rolling her eyes. “But uhh, with Jane having a kid next month, everything’s a mess, and I really don’t want to deal with them, so I’m sort of just… Not.” She goes to get his coffee without asking what he wants. “How about you? Aren’t you a West Coaster?”

“Yeah, but my family’s not the greatest, so…” He shrugs. “I figured I’d just stay here.”

“Yeah well.” Emma looks around the very empty coffee shop. “I’m kinda happy you did, to be honest. I’m the only one at work, I’m bored as shit.”   
“Yeah, I can imagine.” Ted smiles at her; she’s a decent person, and Paul likes her, and he likes Paul, so he’s decided to be friends with her. “Are you allowed to like, take a seat and chat with customers?”   
“No.” She walks out from behind the counter. “But as I said, only one at work.”   
He laughs, but they sit down together. “What’s up? How’s Paul?”

“He’s fine.” She shrugs. “He’s home from the holidays. He texts. It’s fine.”   
“Is it?” He digs because he cares, he tells himself, but it’s probably mostly to avoid the conversation turning on him. “You don’t seem fine.”

“It’s fine, it’s just…” She sighs. “Okay, he’s great, and I do care about him and stuff, and I do think he cares about me too. He does. It’s fine. He’s just really bad at calling.”   
“Call him then.” Ted shrugs. He’s prepared to keep buying coffee in order to hang out with Emma. “He likes you, no reason to get bitter about a fucking text message.”

“I know.” She sighs. “Hey, do me a favour, will you?”   
“Depends on what it is.”

“I’ll go call Paul, will you like, yell for me if any customers come in? I’ll pay for your next coffee.” She almost looks pleading.

Ted, who was gonna say yes even without the free coffee, nods. “Go ahead. I’ll just sit here.”

Emma emerges some ten minutes later, smiling. There’s been no customers, but Ted’s finished his coffee, so he sends Emma to make him a new one before she sits back down.

“So,” he says once she sits down, sliding a coffee over to him and with one for herself. “How’s Paul?”   
“Good.” She widens her smile for a moment. “I told him I like talking. He seemed surprised, but like, not in a bad way? I don’t know. Thanks for telling me to call.”   
“No problem.” Emma is a good friend, he decides. “If I can’t make my own relationship work, at least I can make yours work.”   
“What relationship?” She lightly kicks his leg. “Come on, I’m bored and my shift is another five hours. Entertain me.”

“Fine.” He smiles. “Okay, but will you promise me not to tell anyone? I’m technically including Paul in this, just because realistically, I’ll probably tell him myself next time he gets me drunk.”   
“I will tell Paul to act surprised,” Emma promises, solemnly.

He rolls his eyes at her, but he doesn’t actually mind Paul knowing. “Okay, do you know Charlotte? Charlotte Waters? I’ve seen her here, but that doesn’t mean you know her.”   
“The one you had a really awkward run-in with back in November?”   
“That’s the one.” He smiles. “Anyway, she has a boyfriend named Sam, they’ve been together for six years now, it’s a whole thing. Sam’s cheating on her — or was, who knows anymore, certainly not me — with a girl named Zoey, who I hooked up with a few times. Not important. Anyway, Melissa kind of figured that Sam and Zoey had hooked up, I got Zoey to tell me, I told Charlotte, I’m very good at pity sex, she hasn’t talked to me since, except for the very awkward encounter you witnessed.” He shrugs. “That’s basically it. Oh, and I saw her in a cafe a few weeks back when I was studying with a friend, and she seemed very concerned and maybe even angry that I was flirting with him, so. That’s it.”   
“Aha.” Emma stirs her coffee, but she’s looking at him with disbelief. “So, what are you, into her?”   
“Kind of.” He shrugs. “We met at an internship just over a year ago. I was kind of into her, then she told me that she had a boyfriend and was ranting about Sam, and I kind of ignored it. Then I ran into her a while back at one of Zoey’s shows, of all places, and you know. She’s still hot.” He shrugs again, because there’s not much else to do. “And like, I don’t know, I like her. And it kinda sucks that she doesn’t wanna talk to me now that we’ve actually hooked up, like, fuck, just dump your shitty boyfriend and get over it.”

Emma shakes her head. “I mean, I get why you’d want that, but come on. It’s not that easy. She’s probably in love with him or whatever.”   
“Yeah, of course she is. But also, come on, it was not that hard to get her to fuck me, and she wasn’t even drunk, and he’s cheating on her too. She doesn’t love him that much.” He probably shouldn’t be telling Emma all of this, most of it he hasn’t even told Melissa, but it’s nice. And Emma isn’t gonna cause drama among everyone else to get him what he wants. At least he doesn’t think she will.

He’s right. “Can’t help you, dude.” Emma shrugs. “Have you considered just like, telling her that you’re into her? Asking her out? Can’t hurt.”   
“Yes it can,” he counters. “She and Sam are talking about getting married. Come on Emma, I cannot compete with that. I’m just a dumbass who hasn’t been on an actual date, bar the time Paul ended up asking you out instead, since I was 15. That’s like… Eight years, so longer than Charlotte and Sam have even been together.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” She shrugs. “I don’t know what to tell you man. What’s your plan?”   
“Nothing. Ignoring it until it goes away.” He empties his coffee. “Hooking up with other people. Which, by the way, I really haven’t done enough in the past month. Do you have plans tonight?”   
“Wait  _ what _ ?” Emma looks suddenly disturbed.

“Okay, no, no.” Ted holds up both hands. “No. It’s Christmas Eve, which means the only people who are out are gonna be sad, which means it’s a great opportunity for hooking up, but it’s a lot easier to do when you’re abandoning a friend in favour of someone else. I’ll buy you a drink if you come with me.”

“So that I can be the abandoned friend?” she asks. Then she shrugs. “Yeah, sure, why not. I have nothing better to do anyway.”

“Thanks.” Ted smiles. “Give me your number, I’ll text you, I haven’t decided where we’re going yet.” He slides his phone over the table.

Emma takes it and types in her number. “I have. We’re going to the Mill.”   
“Oh, come on, no. The Mill sucks, come on, I’m trying to get laid.”   
“We’re going. I promise you you’ll get laid, I may have ulterior motives, but I promise.” She smiles.

“Alright then.” Ted rolls his eyes. “Tell you what, I have like, actual studying to do, but I can just go home and get my laptop and do it here if you still want company?”   
“That would be fucking awesome.” Emma nods excitedly. “I’m so fucking bored.”   
“I can imagine.” Ted gets up. “I’ll be back in like twenty minutes.”   
“See ya.”   
He drives home to get his laptop, then goes back to Beanie’s to study. Which admittedly is mostly getting over caffeinated and small talking with Emma, but it’s a good time.

They do go out at night, and Emma keeps good on her promise of getting him laid, even in the seediest and shittiest pub in Hatchetfield. Admittedly it’s just a friend of hers that she’s also invited and more or less shoves at him, but the guy’s decently attractive, and Ted’s standards aren’t high. He goes home with the guy, whose name he never learns, or immediately forgets, and sneaks out before he wakes up in the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

Melissa comes back for New Year’s, so they throw a party in their apartment. Most of their friends are still out, so it’s just the two of them, plus Emma and Cassandra and Carlos, who Ted texted on a whim, but who shows up anyway. They have a good time, getting drunk together, and talking about random shit. Ted ends up in a corner with Cassandra for two hours, talking about their thesis, while they both get progressively get more drunk and less coherent. He likes them, he decides, and likes their writing.

Carlos kisses him at midnight, and that’s alright, it just kind of also sucks because he likes being friends with him. He lets him stay the night anyway, and they do fuck, but he stays for breakfast, and it’s not awkward. Ted texts him about it later, and he shrugs it off, so it’s fine. Of course it’s fine. Everything’s fine, and Carlos is just another ex-hookup that sticks around in his life, though perhaps not as much as Melissa.

Or Charlotte. He feels like he sees her everywhere once classes start again. He actively avoids the English department and the cafes around where her classes are, but for some reason, she keeps popping up anyway. They never talk, hardly ever acknowledge each other’s existence, but she’s always there. And so rarely with Sam. He half considers asking if they’ve broken up, but every time he thinks, next time he will, then she shows up with Sam.

It’s February by the time she talks to him. He’s at a cafe with Carlos, going over their syllabus. “Hey Ted.”   
“Oh, hi Charlotte.” He refuses to acknowledge anything. Let her do so.

“It’s been a while.” She smiles. “Um, I just… I saw you and I figured I’d tell you… Um. Sam and I got engaged.” She holds out her left hand; there’s a ring he hasn’t seen before, silver with a stone.

“Congratulations.” He forces a smile. “I’m happy for you.” He’s a decent liar, but he suspects she knows he’s lying this time.   
“Yeah, so…” Charlotte trails off. “I’ll see you around, I guess.”   
“I’ll see you.” He looks after her as she walks off. “What the fuck?”   
“Who was that?” Carlos asks.

“Her name is Charlotte, she’s… A friend, I guess. Long story.” He looks back to his screen. “Don’t wanna talk about it. Let’s do this.”

“Sure.” Carlos shrugs, and they return to their schoolwork.

Ted tells Melissa about Charlotte’s engagement, and pretends that he’s fine. He then goes out and gets very drunk and walks home alone.

The next day is Valentine’s, and both Ted and Melissa are single, so they stay home and watch  _ The Bachelor _ and get wine drunk. Because sometimes you need to get wine drunk with your best friend in order to stop thinking about a woman you’re definitely not into anymore.

Except  _ The Bachelor _ isn’t really the best thing to watch when you’re trying to forget someone’s engagement, and Ted knows this. He also knows that he’s not about to give Melissa the satisfaction of mentioning Charlotte, so he pours himself another glass of wine.

Melissa realises anyway, because of course she does. “How are you doing?” she asks during a commercial break.

Ted shrugs. “I’m wine drunk with my roommate on Valentine’s. How do you think I’m doing Mels?”

She shakes her head at him. “Not what I meant. Charlotte?”   
He empties his glass, which is really a shame, it’s decent wine. “She’s marrying Sam, and it’s not really my place to do anything about it.”

Melissa hands over her phone without another word. He looks at it. A text conversation with Zoey, from way back. She’s talking about Sam, everything she’s done with him. As he scrolls through, he realises how much Melissa has been talking to Zoey; there are weekly texts exchanged, and it’s all the same. Just about Sam and Zoey and their relationship. Melissa asks questions about Charlotte, and Zoey answers them, what Charlotte knows, what she doesn’t. The most recent text is from the same day; Zoey sending a picture of her and Sam at a restaurant.

Ted hands the phone back. “So what?”

“Charlotte is my friend.” Melissa puts her phone away. “Do you think she’d want to marry a guy who so obviously doesn’t care about their relationship? Zoey wants them to break up too. It’s better.”   
“What does that have to do with me?” Ted is drunk and contrarian and doesn’t want to have this conversation. Yet he has it. “I know I hooked up with her once, but I hooked up with a lot of people. I hooked up with Zoey, too. And so many other people. It doesn’t matter. She can make her own mistakes, if she doesn’t wanna talk to me. I don’t care. If you and Zoey want to cause something, fine, leave me out of it.”   
“Ted…” Melissa takes out her phone and finds something else. “I already talked to Charlotte. Look.” She hands it over again.

Ted takes it, even though he doesn’t want to. Texts between Melissa and Charlotte, this time. “Mels, I don’t wanna read this.” He hands it back without even looking.

“Read them,” Melissa says. “Please.”

So he does. A lot of random catching up, in between talks of Sam and Zoey. And him. They’ve talked about him too, and it’s not as terrible as he could’ve imagined. He doesn’t want to read it, but he knows Melissa well enough to know she’ll make him, and he’s a known masochist when it comes to emotions, so he reads it anyway. And it seems like Charlotte has missed him.

He hands the phone back a second time. “If she really means that she can damn well talk to me. She has my number, it’s not that hard.” He’s drunk, and probably shouldn’t be doing this right now. “Actually, hold on.” He takes out his own phone and types out a text to Charlotte.  _ Melissa tells me you’ve been talking about me, you have my number, it’s not that fucking hard to text me.  _ He hits send before Melissa can take his phone.

“What the fuck did you just do?” Melissa takes his phone and looks at it. “Ted, did you not fucking read anything of what we’ve been talking about?”   
“What? That Sam’s a douchebag? We already knew that. That she deserves better? I’ve been saying that for a year and a half now. Come on. It’s not that fucking hard, he’s not gonna do anything about this.”   
Melissa types out a text on his phone and hands it back. “Send it.”   
_ Sorry, I’m drunk and angry, don’t mind me.  _ “Fine.” He sends it, because it’s technically true, and because Melissa is right. It’s a bad time, and Sam is a bad man who’s not even home. “He’s with Zoey anyway, it doesn’t matter, she has time.”

“I know, but still. You can’t just do that.” Melissa puts her phone away. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”   
“No, you shouldn’t.” Ted grabs her shoulder and pulls her into a hug. “You really shouldn’t.”   
“I’m sorry.” She leans away. “Fine, I’ll drop the subject, show’s about to start back up anyway.”   
And because Ted can’t be bothered with a fight just then, he just turns his attention back on the TV. They end up both falling asleep on the couch, two bottles of wine later, and it’s a halfway decent night, despite him thinking about Charlotte.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emma is the most iconic

Emma’s birthday is at the beginning of March, and she’s trying to avoid her family, so she decides that they’re going out for drinks.  _ They  _ being herself, Paul, Ted, and Melissa.

It starts innocently enough. They’re at a pub having drinks and talking. Nothing special. Ted complains about class, and Melissa tells him it’s not that bad. Paul talks about sociology for a while and complains about the existence of Karl Marx. Emma talks about plants and tells stories about her weird professor, who seems to think the world is ending. It’s fun. Then she starts complaining about work. “And  _ Zoey _ who’s technically my manager, even though she’s like, 19.” She makes a mockery of the name, but Ted still stops her.   
“Wait, Zoey? Zoey… God, I think I knew her last name once, but whatever. Theatre kid, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Emma laughs. “Wait, it’s  _ that _ Zoey? The one you told me about at Christmas?”   
“I guess so.” Ted shrugs.

“Dude, she was like 18 then, you know that right?” Emma raises an eyebrow.

Ted had not known this. “I’m 21, it’s fine.”

“You’re 23,” Melissa says. “And I’m pretty sure Emma knows this.”   
“I do,” she confirms. “Like, I’m not bothered, she’s still an adult, so who cares. Also, she’s dating this asshole, I think he’s a cop, he comes around all the time, and I am  _ so _ sick of walking in on them making out in the back room, he’s not even supposed to be there.”   
Ted knocks back his drink. “I fucking hate that guy,” he says. “I mean, I’m pretty sure he’s older than I am, at least I know Charlotte is.”   
“Who’s Charlotte?” Paul asks.

“Zoey’s boyfriend’s fiancée,” Melissa replies dryly. “Sam’s a jerk.”

“Tell me about it,” Emma adds. “He’s fucking gross. So he shows up, saying terrible pickup lines to Zoey, and she just makes out with him, and then he says something gross to me or Nora or one of the other girls, and it’s like, come on dude, my boyfriend is right there, do you really have to do this right now?”

“Strange that he dares,” Ted says. “I mean, come on, Charlotte lives in town, she has her own friends. She knows he’s cheated on her with Zoey before, but I somehow doubt she knows he’s still seeing her.” He shrugs. “Not that I care. Drinks?” He gets up.

“No thanks.” Melissa smiles. “Get a shot, you look like you need it.”   
“Damn right.” Melissa is a good friend, so Ted gets himself two shots of vodka and another mixed drink and sits back down.

The rest of the night is fun and calm, but he knows Melissa has talked to Emma and Paul and asked them to avoid certain topics.

Which is why, two days later, he shows up in Beanie’s at 5am when he knows Emma is working the morning shift. There’s one person in front of him in line who orders a ridiculous amount of coffees to go, which leaves Emma and Ted alone.

“Hey,” he says.   
“Oh hi.” She smiles. “Do you want a double shot for once? It’s fucking 5am.”   
“Yeah, thanks.” He smiles back. “Hey, do you have time for a chat?”

She shrugs. “Sure, morning rush doesn’t start for another half hour.” She punches in his order and takes the money he’s left on the counter, dumping the change into the tip jar without asking. “I added the extra shot for free, so same difference, but I get more out of this,” she explains when she sees him about to protest. “Here you go.” She hands him his coffee and goes to sit down.

“Fair enough.” He sits with her. “So, you know about like, Zoey and Sam and Charlotte and the whole thing?”   
“I mean, bits and pieces.” Emma shrugs. “You look like you need to talk, so why don’t you start from the beginning? Then we’ll take it from there.”   
“Sure.” So he does. He tells her about the internship, how Charlotte had responded well enough to him flirting, until a certain point when she backed off completely. How he found out about Sam from Melissa, not from Charlotte, and about how they’ve been dating since the end of high school, about how Sam went to the police academy and Charlotte planned to wait for him, how she eventually applied to college anyway, how he only knew all of this because Charlotte told him in a whisper between tears, after they had sex. How he didn’t see her for a year after the internship, then suddenly ran into her at that stupid show of Zoey’s that Melissa made him go to, and  _ fuck  _ she’s still the hottest person he’s ever seen, how he flirted with her at the show, how she held his hand, how Melissa figured out about Sam and Zoey, about the weird dinner party where Zoey made out with him, about getting her to admit to sleeping with Sam, about the ultimatum he posed, and about how she didn’t follow through, or Sam didn’t. About how he invited Charlotte over knowing full well he was gonna tell her about Sam and Zoey, how he kind of feels like a fraud for pretending to let it come up naturally, how he kissed her and fucked her because that was his plan all along and he’s good at pity sex, how she was gone in the morning. About how she didn’t talk to him for ages, how their next few interactions went, about the engagement, about Melissa and her texts with Zoey and Charlotte, about how he wishes she’d just fucking talk to him.

Emma listens to him without interrupting. She’s a good friend, he thinks, until she opens her mouth. “Like, Ted, I get that it sucks to be in love with someone who doesn’t—”   
“I’m not in love with her,” he interrupts. Then he hesitates. “Am I?”

“I don’t know, Ted, I don’t know how you’re feeling.” Emma shrugs. “That’s on you. Are you?”   
“I don’t know.” He sighs. “I’ve never been in love before. I don’t know what it’s supposed to be, but hopefully better than this, this is crap.” He knocks back his coffee, which is mostly cold.

“Yeah, I get that.” She shrugs. “It sucks. And normally I’d say talk to her, but like, she’s not talking to you, so I don’t know what else to do. Tell you what, though, she’s engaged to a cheating scumbag, it’s probably worth getting them to break up.”   
“Melissa tried. It’s fine. Thanks for listening.”   
“No problem.” She smiles. “I’ll get you another coffee, you look like you need it.”   
“Yeah, thanks.” He follows her to the counter. “I have classes back to back from eight until three today. Not as much as a lunch break, they’ve popped in an extra coding class. I fucking hate coding.”   
“Aren’t you studying computer science? Isn’t that like most of what you do?” Emma hands him his coffee. “I’ll pay that one.”   
“You are the best.” Ted knocks back half his coffee. “And yeah, it is, okay, specifically I hate coding classes, because all they do is reteach programming languages that I already know. I usually just sit with Carlos and make bad jokes.”   
“Carlos? The guy you hooked up with at New Year’s?” Emma raises an eyebrow at him. “You still talk to him?”   
“Yeah, it’s fine.” He smiles. “I mean, he’s not the first ex-hookup who’s become a permanent presence in my life.”   
“Who else?” Emma rests her elbows on the counter and waits.

“Melissa, most importantly. That’s how we met. Turns out, she’s a lesbian. Who would’ve guessed.” He rolls his eyes. “I kind of figured back then, she was super not into it, I’ll spare you the details. Long story short, I decided that it’s kinda gotta suck to have hooked up with me of all people, so I bought her dinner, and uhh, that was more than three years ago now, we’ve lived together for more than two years.”   
“That’s fucking hilarious.” And Emma is laughing. “Anyone else?”   
“I mean, not that Paul and I ever hooked up, but we did go on like, a date and a half and made out after too many drinks, does that count?”   
“No, but only because I prefer not to think about the fact that my boyfriend made out with you once.”

“Fair.” He nods. “I’m about to make your day a whole lot worse, I think. Does Jane count because I’m friends with you?”   
“Wait,  _ what _ ?” Emma looks genuinely distressed, which is a sharp turn from her half laugh. “Wait,  _ Jane _ ? My  _ sister _ Jane? What the  _ fuck _ Ted?”   
“Okay, okay, remember when we met. Like… A year ago? Weird event for STEM majors? Jane was there, she was a senior at the time. Remember?” He knows she does because they’ve talked about it since.

“Right, okay, what?”   
“Okay, there was a lot of wine and I’m cheap, we know this about me. I was pretty drunk, and I was talking to Jane, and well, I’m a terrible flirt, but it sort of works when people are drunk, and Jane was. So. I did not remember her name, I was honestly not expecting to know her at all, then I met you.”   
“Ted.” Emma stares at him for several seconds. “Ted. Tim’s two months old. That makes… What the  _ fuck  _ Ted?”

Ted laughs at that. “Emma, come on. I'm not a fucking dumbass, I used a condom, I'll bet she fucked her husband too. I know I’m a shitty human, but I’m not  _ that _ shitty.”

“Right.” Emma loosens up a little. “Right. No, it’s not at all like there’s a  _ tiny _ chance in the universe that you got my sister pregnant, nope, no way, no chance at all.”   
“Emma.” Ted takes her hand, mostly to make him look at her, but she freezes. “If it’s really that much of a bother, how about you ask Jane about it? I’m sure she’s done the math too.”

“Sure. What do I say? Hello, sister-that-I-avoid-any-chance-I-get, is it possible that this man, who is one of my good friends and who you happened to sleep with once, incidentally like nine months before your son was born, is it possible at all that he could be the one? Like, no fucking way, Ted, I do not want that.”   
“Alright.” He shrugs. “I’m not bothered. This is exactly why I use condoms, I’m not interested in having kids. At all. Not even if I don’t have to acknowledge them.”

The bell over the door chimes, and a customer enters. Ted steps aside to let them order. When they’ve had their coffee and taken a seat, he walks over to the counter.

“Okay, fair enough.” Emma shrugs and looks at the clock. “Morning rush is gonna start in a bit. Do you want another coffee and keep standing here?”   
Ted shrugs. “Technically I have another two and a half hours until class, and I’m driving, so it’s quick. But I think I might go home and try to sleep a little, I just wanted to catch up.”

“Sure.” Emma looks suspicious. “You know, you have my phone number, we’re friends, if you need to talk, just text me. Jeez, we’re friends on like five different social medias, you can contact me, no need to show up at the ass crack of dawn.”   
“No, well.” He shrugs. “Thanks for the talk. I’ll see you around.”   
“See you.”   
He leaves. Emma is right; he could’ve done this with a little more prep and at a more reasonable time, but well, call him dumb, he’s not about to admit that he needs to talk about his feelings.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: I had accidentally labelled two chapters as chapter 8 in my own doc and spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why eight chapters were already out when I had chapter 8 open and ready to go and it was not the latest chapter posted

He gets a text from Emma two days later.  _ I talked to Jane. Congratulations _ .

He’s with Melissa and Carlos, and laughs.  _ What the fuck? _ He looks at his friends, both of whom are looking at him curiously. “Long story, don’t have the full thing, will in a second if Emma answers. Um, basically, I hooked up with her sister last year and there’s some overly coincidental timing with when her nephew was born so.” He checks his phone.  _ Jane got it checked when Tim was born, he’s Tom’s son, thank god. _ “I’m in no way involved, it just gave Emma a mini heart attack when we were talking the other day.”   
“Are you sure you’re not involved?” Carlos looks like he can barely contain his laughter. “I mean, knowing you…”

“Knowing me.” Ted points at Carlos, then Melissa. “Both of you have slept with me, sadly. Who was overly insistent about using a condom, Melissa?”   
She shrugs. “You were. I’m on birth control, I don’t see what the big deal is, but fair.”   
“Case in point. I’m not an idiot.” He throws out his arms. “I am not gonna get involved in children, ever. Nope.”

“You say that now.” Carlos pokes him in the side. “But fair enough, alright, you’re not involved. Are you sure?”   
Ted puts his phone on the table, the conversation with Emma open. “I laughed at the  _ congratulations _ ,” he says, smiling. “Like, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? Congratulations, you’re scot free? Congratulations, it’s your kid?”   
“She’d have a bit more tact if it was, don’t you think?” Carlos asks.

“It’s Emma.” Melissa shakes her head. “She absolutely wouldn’t.”

“Mels is right, she wouldn’t.” Ted takes her phone. “Anyway, this really isn’t relevant, weren’t we supposed to work on a project?”   
And because Ted is right, the conversation turns away from Emma and her nephew and towards computer science, the actual thing they know stuff about.

Ted feels like March passes way too fast, but in early April, time skids to a sudden halt. He and Melissa come home after class one day to find a nice manila envelope having been tossed through the letterbox. “What’s this?” Ted picks it up. “It’s addressed to both of us. Full names, too.”   
“Full names?” Melissa takes the envelope. “Melissa Anna Robyn Taylor and Theodore Anthony Richards. Holy shit.” She looks at him. “How come I’ve lived with you for more than two years and never knew your middle name was Anthony?”

“Because I don’t tell that to people.” He takes the envelope back. “Which is why I’m very curious to know what this is.” He opens the envelope and takes out the contents. Ivory card stock. Ridiculously expensive-looking, nothing he could imagine anyone he knows using. Then he reads the headline. “Okay then.”

Melissa takes the card from him. “Oh.” She shrugs. “It’s after exams. I’m going, Charlotte is my friend, I owe her to be at her wedding even if I disapprove.”   
Ted nods. “Right. I still don’t know how they tracked down my middle name, but it’s addressed to both of us. I’m going.” He takes the card and reads it properly. It certainly is a wedding invitation. He shouldn’t be surprised, he knew they were engaged, but still. It stings.

He calls Charlotte, a bit later, alone in his room. To his surprise, she picks up. “Hi, it’s Charlotte.”   
“Hey, it’s Ted.” Everything he’d planned to say disappears the moment he hears her voice. “Uh, I just wanted to say that Melissa and I got the wedding invitation, we’d love to come.”  _ Love _ is probably a strong word to use, given how he feels, but still. “I was a little surprised, we haven’t talked in a while.”   
“No, well…” She hesitates, so he waits. “Well. I’m happy you’re coming, I’ll be excited to see you.”   
“Yeah, you too. I’ll… See you around.”   
“See you around, Ted.” She doesn’t hang up.

“Wait, okay, Charlotte, actually? I know we’ve had some… Strained moments lately. Maybe we could meet up at some point, talk it out? Just so we’re okay by the time the wedding comes around, you know, we can have a good time, have a dance, that kind of thing, you know?” He doesn’t know why he says this, but once the words are out, he realises that it’s not a half bad plan.

“Yeah.” Charlotte hesitates. “I… Now?”   
“No, not now, just… Whenever. Text me, I usually have time.” It’s true, which kind of sucks, but oh well. “Just to clear the air.”   
“Yeah.” She sighs. “Thanks Ted. I’ll see you later.”   
“See you.”

As it turns out, Charlotte never texts him. Instead, she does what she does best, and appears to him at inopportune moments. He’s in Beanie’s; he’s taken to studying there even when Emma isn’t working. Zoey, however, is at work that day, so he sits with his back to the counter to avoid meeting her eyes.

Charlotte slides into the seat across from him. “Hi.”   
Ted looks up. “Oh hey.” He closes his laptop. “How are you?”

She shrugs, but she does smile. “Alright. You said you wanted to talk?”   
“Now?” He sighs. “Sure, why not. I just, you know, stuff happened, back in fall, and I’m not… I’m not gonna do this all at once, so let’s start there. Stuff happened, between you and I, correct?”

She nods. “It doesn’t mean anything. It’s nothing. A mistake. That’s all.”   
“Sure sure.” And he gets it, he does, but it does sting a bit. “But if we’re pretending it didn’t happen, let’s not make things awkward because of it, yeah? We’re friends, or well, we were. What’s up with you? Are you excited?”   
“For what?” She doesn’t meet his eyes, and she doesn’t smile.

“You’re getting married, aren’t you?” He chuckles. “How are things with you and Sam? I know it was strained for a while, but I guess, if you’re getting married you’ve made up.” He does look back at Zoey, who’s glaring at them, but he ignores her. He has to.

“It’s alright.” Charlotte shrugs. “We talked it out back then. It was… Not fun. But you know, you can forgive the one you love for anything.”   
“I wouldn’t know.” Ted puts his laptop away, because Charlotte has both hands on the table, and he kind of wants to take them. “Love, that’s… That’s you. Your thing. I don’t really do that.” He doesn’t take her hands.

“Why not?” She smiles at him. “It could be good for you. A real relationship.”

“Eh.” He shrugs it off. He does take her hands now. “I told you, it’s you.” It feels too much like a confession, but it’s fine. “I, personally, plan on being alone forever.”   
She shakes her head, but she’s still smiling, and she doesn’t draw her hands back. “Come on, being in love is nice, don’t you think?”   
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “I’ve never been in love.” It feels weirdly like a lie, and he doesn’t like that. “I mean it, never. I really wouldn’t know.”   
“Hmm.” She draws her hands back now, and her smile falls a little, but she doesn’t look angry. “Well, I still think it could be good for you, but it’s not my place.” Her smile is back. “I’m glad we got to talk.”   
“Me too.” Ted smiles back at her. “Hey, Charlotte? I’m happy for you. I mean that.”

“Thanks.” She laughs. “I’ll be excited to see you at the wedding. Are you coming alone?”   
“Well, with Melissa, but I’m not bringing a date if that’s what you mean.” He shrugs. “I’ll see you then.”   
“See you then Ted.” She smiles at him and leaves.

Ted goes to get another coffee and goes back to his studying, but it’s hard to focus. So he texts Emma and asks if she’s down for getting drunk that night. Fortunately she is, so he goes to her place and they share three bottles of wine and talk. He kind of admits to still being into Charlotte, but only to Emma, so he doesn’t mind. She just laughs at him and gives him another glass, and she doesn’t mind that he doesn’t know how emotions work, and unlike Melissa, she doesn’t try to make him understand.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love a good wedding

The rest of the semester passes far too slowly for Ted’s liking, but it does pass. He doesn’t see or talk to Charlotte any more, but he doesn’t mind. He hooks up with Carlos another time, ‘cause he’s bored and upset. This results in Carlos and Melissa interrogating him over breakfast, but he mostly manages to avoid it. Mostly.

Exams come and go. Ted isn’t worried, but he also isn’t bothered; he probably doesn’t do as well as he could have, and he knows this. He doesn’t mind; if he has to retake his senior year of college, well, he wouldn’t be the first. It wouldn’t be the first school year he’s had to retake, either. Admittedly, he only retook junior year of high school ‘cause he was out for a solid five months being sick, but still. He doesn’t mind.

Eventually the day of the wedding comes. He gets dressed up nicely, with a corsage matching Melissa’s dress, and they get a cab to the venue. He’s mentally rehearsed the day several times, but he still doesn’t feel prepared.

Melissa takes his hand the moment they leave the cab. “Don’t do anything stupid,” she whispers as they walk towards the church.

“I would never,” he whispers back. He pulls her into one of the back pews; yes, he wants to be there for Charlotte, but he has no desire to see her marrying Sam, so he’s almost relieved when some tall guy built like a brick shithouse sits in front of them, more or less blocking his whole view of the altar.

It’s not a long ceremony, but it works. Ted, for all his mental rehearsal, is not prepared for how much seeing Charlotte in a wedding dress makes him feel. Mostly regret, a little bit hot and bothered, he is unashamed to admit, and a little bit of something that he’s beginning to suspect can be called love. He shakes it off and clutches Melissa’s hand tighter until the ceremony is over. Afterwards, he can’t remember a single word of their vows, but he thinks that might be for the best. He doesn’t actually want to remember.

Melissa doesn’t let go of his hand as they walk to the reception, which is close enough to the church that they decide to walk. Charlotte’s and Sam’s parents stand at the door. “Ah, who are you?”   
“Melissa Taylor and Ted Richards,” Melissa replies, still holding Ted’s hand.

“Hmm.” One of the parents, Ted doesn’t know whose, checks a seating plan. “Here you are. Follow me.” She smiles and gestures for them to follow.

They’re sitting a few tables away from the main table, which makes sense; they’re acquaintances and nothing more, Ted reminds himself. And he’s seated with his back to the main table, which is fine, because he doesn’t actually want to look at Charlotte and Sam all evening, even if he isn’t sure he’s able to stop himself. And the other four people at the table are people neither he nor Melissa knows, but who all know each other, which is also fine, because he doesn’t want to interact with new people. He wants to keep holding Melissa's hand too tightly, because he does not, in any way, shape or form, have feelings for Charlotte, and he's happy for her.

That doesn't stop him from drinking too much wine, though, but Melissa keeps a hold of him and keeps him sober enough to function. Which isn't sober, by any means, but it's also not catastrophic.

He doesn't do anything stupid. When the dancefloor opens, he dances with Melissa, because she asks him to. He spots Zoey, which surprises him, but he asks her to dance, and she accepts. They catch up in a whisper while dancing, and it's fine. Turns out she's still seeing Sam. As far as she knows, Charlotte doesn't know this. Apparently her requirement for letting Zoey be invited in the first place was also inviting Ted. It makes a certain kind of sense, he supposes, if Sam gets to invite his mistress, that she would too, but he doesn't quite like being a bargaining chip. Neither does Zoey, and he half considers asking her if she wants to cause a scene, but the song ends, and she walks away, so he goes to ask Charlotte to dance instead.

"You're good at this,” she says, stepping through a slow waltz with him.

"No need to sound so surprised." He smiles. "Okay, we had a dance section in PE in high school, and because I did that year twice, I ended up doing it twice. I'm a little rusty, but you're not my first dance of the evening." He considers showing off, but decides against it; the truth is he's more than a little rusty, but he had to teach Melissa a basic waltz step in their living room before going, so he is somewhat back.

"Still." She smiles up at him.

"You look beautiful," he says, because she does, and it's probably one of the only times he'll ever have the chance to tell her. "How are you feeling?"

"Good." She rests her head against his chest for a moment, and Ted has to force his breathing smooth. It does hitch a little, but he doesn't think she notices. "You know, they say your wedding is the best day of your life, other than having kids, but so far it's just been… Overwhelming. Not in a bad way, but I wouldn't say this is the best day of my life."

"Well." Ted changes his mind about showing off and pulls her out into a spin, mostly just to put some space between them. He's already too aware of her hand in his, on his shoulder, the small of her back beneath his palm, no need to make it worse. "I'm sure it will be the best day when you look back at it," he adds when they've settled back into a rhythm. The worst thing is that he means it.

"Probably," she agrees with a smile. "I'm happy you could make it. You and Melissa both. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." And he has, probably more than he cares to admit. "It's a shame we don't see each other more often."

"Well, Sam and I are planning on staying in town, so you know… If you and Melissa are too, maybe we can see each other?" She's still smiling.

"Maybe." Ted spins her again, because it gives him an excuse to hesitate. "I don't know about Melissa, but my current plan is to stay, so we'll see." He smiles at her. "You know, I've never been in love before, but all of this kinda makes me want to. It's a beautiful wedding." And with that, the song ends, and they come to a standstill.

"Thank you." She smiles, but she looks like she has more to say. After a few seconds, though, she lets go of his hand and walks off.

Ted walks back to Melissa, who's been watching him from the side of the dancefloor. "What are you staring at, Mels?"

"You," she replies. She takes his hand again. "Why were you dancing with her?"

He shrugs. "Because it's her wedding, and I'm her friend, and she invited me?" He smiles. "Don't worry, I didn't do anything stupid, I swear. I'm actually quite proud of myself."

"Yeah, sure." Melissa rolls her eyes at him, but she leaves it be.

They leave the reception early, but not as the first ones. They go to say a proper goodbye and thank you to both Charlotte and Sam, and while Ted mostly wants to cause a scene, all he does is linger a little too long on the hug he gives Charlotte.

Their exam results come in two days after the wedding. Ted’s gonna have to retake a few subjects, but he has been expecting this, so he isn’t bothered. Melissa shakes her head at him, until she opens her own results and realises she did worse. It’s not that she’s stupid, he tells her, it’s just that no one’s actually bothered to teach them what they need to know.

He doesn’t really mind. He’s gotten used to the idea of staying in Hatchetfield, but he hasn’t quite had an excuse. He calls his sister and tells her, but says she can come visit him if she wants. She does, but neither of them can afford her plane ticket, and they both know their parents won’t let her.

It’s a Monday morning, and Emma is alone in Beanie’s. Ted knows this because she’s texting him to come hang out. He tells her to ask Paul, but she says he’s at work, and that makes sense. So he gets himself in the car and drives out.

“Hey.” He walks in a dumps into a chair. “The counter’s too far away.”   
Emma laughs at him, but she comes sit. “Don’t worry.” She puts a cup down in front of him. “I was prepared for you to come. How hungover are you?”

“Not at all, sadly.” He glares at her, then smiles and takes the coffee. “Thanks. Nope, not hungover. Just tired.”   
“Really? What’s keeping you up?” She leans her elbows on the table and rests her head in her hands. “Aren’t you like, done with college or whatever?”   
“Nope.” He shrugs. “I failed. So did Melissa, to be fair, so did a solid half our class, so not our fault. We’re the only two who are actually retaking the year.”

“Wow, really?” She looks genuinely surprised. “Damn.”   
“Yeah, it sucks.” He sighs. “It’s fine, I probably could’ve passed, but I wasn’t really in the mood to try. I’m still not, but I’ve decided I will be in a year.”   
“Aha.” Emma raises an eyebrow. “Why weren’t you? What was up?”   
“Ugh.” And this is what he doesn’t wanna talk about. He downs the coffee to buy himself time. “It’s just, everything happening with Charlotte. I’ve never been in love before, I thought… No one told me it was gonna suck.”

“So you’re admitting you’re in love with her, then?”

“Yeah, I guess.” He sighs. “I thought I was alright, I thought… Why does it suck, Emma?”

“I don’t know.” She pats his shoulder. “Talk to me.”   
“I just… It sucks. Okay, so, I’m in love with her, I guess. It’s… It sucks. It just sucks.”   
“You’ve said that.” She’s sarcastic, but she softens after that. “Are you guys on speaking terms now?”   
“Kind of.” He shrugs. “I went to her wedding. We had a dance. She said she’d missed me, I said I’d missed her too. I was being perfectly fucking civil. We talked a bit. That was about it.” He shrugs again. “Oh, and Zoey was there too, I was mostly invited because she was. I danced with her too. She’s still seeing Sam, and as far as she knows, Charlotte doesn’t know about it. She’s not exactly a fan of the marriage.”   
“No, I know, she found out I knew what was up, so she’s complained about it to me.” Emma shakes her head. “Okay, so you think she’d pick up if you called her? Maybe even like, come if you invited her over?”

“I guess yeah. I don’t know.” He glances at the door. “I can try. What does it matter?”   
“Tell her. Don’t ask her to leave Sam, don’t ask her any favours, actually, tell her you’re not asking anything. Just tell her you’re in love with her, and that you feel better that she knows, and that you’re sorry you didn’t realise sooner. Done. Nothing else. It’s fine.”   
“I can’t do that.” Ted shakes his head, but he feels like his throat is blocked. “I’m going home, I’m not gonna cry in a fucking coffee shop.”   
“You can cry in the back room if you really need to cry.” Emma reaches out and takes his hand, squeezes it quickly, and then draws back. “Or I’ll come by after my shift and we can keep talking. Why aren’t you talking to Melissa?”   
“Melissa gets involved.” He manages to ignore the fact that there are tears in his eyes. “She’s gonna tell Charlotte if I don’t, or she’s gonna talk to Zoey and figure out how to break them up. She means well, but… I’m not gonna get involved. Charlotte loves him, and she deserves better, but come on, I’m not better.”   
“Would you cheat on her?”   
“No, I wouldn’t.” He sighs. “Slightly better, maybe. Whatever. It’s just… It’s so fucking cliche, right? I can literally feel it in my chest. Like… Hollow. What the fuck is that, it’s a fucking emotion.” He’s fully crying now, his voice choked up. “What the fuck, Emma?”   
She gets up and walks around the table to go give him a hug. “I know. But seriously. Talk to her.”   
“Maybe later.” He takes a deep breath to get himself under control. “I’m going home. Thanks. I’ll uhh, I’ll see you later.”   
“See you.” Emma is far shorter than him, but it feels like she’s holding him up when she hugs him again. “Are you sure you’re alright to drive?”   
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” He takes another few deep breaths. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”   
“Yeah.” Emma lets him go.

He drives home and goes straight to bed, even though it’s barely noon. It’s the first time since the wedding he sleeps more than a few hours.


	11. Chapter 11

Melissa wakes him up the next morning. “Ted?”   
“Leave me be.” He pulls the covers up. “I don’t wanna get up.”   
“You’ve slept for more than 20 hours, you need to get up, even if it’s just to get food.” She pulls the covers away. “Also, Charlotte is in the living room and she wants to talk to you.” Melissa puts some coffee down on the nightstand. “Try to look human.” She leaves.

Partly out of spite, but a lot out of depression, Ted does not, in fact, try to look human. He downs the coffee in one go, burning his lips and tongue and throat, and then throws on pants from the day before and a tee, of all things, before heading out. Okay, he tries to smooth down his hair, but he doesn’t try hard, and he doesn’t look in a mirror.

Charlotte is sitting on the couch. She smiles at him. “Hi Ted. Sorry for dropping by unannounced so early in the morning.”   
“It’s fine.” He sits next to her. “What’s up?”

“Oh, I just…” She smiles. “You know, you said something at the wedding, something that kind of surprised me. You said… You said you’ve never been in love before.”   
“Yeah, so what?” He doesn’t know why she’s asking about it. He doesn’t know why she’s even in his living room; she got married literally a week and a day ago, she should be on a honeymoon or something. “It’s true.” It’s kind of true.

“Well, when you say it like that, it sounds like you are in love now.” She’s suddenly not meeting his eyes. “And I just… I know I haven’t been kind to you lately, since… Everything.”   
Ted suddenly understands why Melissa left the room as soon as he came in. “Charlotte, I… Don’t worry about it.” He remembers what Emma told him the day before. “Yeah, I was in love with you… Am… Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” He shrugs. “You’re with Sam, I get it. Tell me, does it feel like the best day yet?”   
“No.” She sighs. “That’s why I’m here, it’s just… It’s Sam. He’s still seeing Zoey, did you know? I walked in on them the other day.”   
“Haven’t you guys been out of town? Like, on a honeymoon or something, isn’t that a thing people do?” Ted kinda wishes he had more coffee. Or a drink. Either will do. But he doesn’t, so he wrings his hands to stop from reaching for Charlotte.

She shakes her head. “We uhh, we don’t have much money at the moment. We decided to postpone it for a year, go next summer. Which is fine, it’s just… I wish he wouldn’t have married me if he wanted her instead.”   
“Too,” Ted corrects. “He wants her too. He could have her, she’s wanted him to break up with you for so long so that she could have him for herself.” He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but it feels right. “I do think Sam loves you. Or… Wants you, at least. I don’t think he deserves you, but I don’t think he would’ve married you if he didn’t care at least a little bit.”   
“I guess.” She shrugs. “I don’t know. I just don’t want to be second, you know. We haven’t spoken in three days, we live together, we’ve even had sex, but we haven’t talked. Not as much as a word, not since I saw her.”

“I wanna ask how you have sex without talking, but I’m not sure I want to know the answer.” He wraps an arm around her and pulls her into a hug because he has nothing to lose now. “I don’t think you’re second. I don’t think you’re first, either, I think he puts himself first.” He pauses. He shouldn’t push it. “You should too.” He really shouldn’t push it. “What do you want, Charlotte?”   
“I don’t know.” She leans into his embrace, and Ted is reminded of an evening, nine months before, when Charlotte had sex with him. “I don’t know.”   
“That’s fine.” He kisses the top of her head because he is a weak man, and because it’s something he’s done to Melissa in her presence, meaning he can play it off as platonic. Not that there’s any reason to, now. “I’ll wait.” He probably shouldn’t have said that. It doesn’t matter now.

Charlotte doesn’t move away from him. In fact, she puts one arm around his waist, and they’re almost hugging, and it’s kind of nice. “I think… I think, right now, I want to stay here for a bit, and I want some coffee.”   
“We can do that.” He smiles and gets up, and it hurts a little bit because it means letting her go, but he also can’t stop smiling, ‘cause she’s staying.

He goes to the kitchen to make them coffee and grabs a bagel for himself while he’s at it. Even though the living room is empty and his room is a mess, he manages to talk her into going there, instead of sitting at the coffee table in the living room, or the big round one in the kitchen. It’s fine. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just nicer to sit cross legged on his bed than on the couch, and he wants to sit so that he can face her.

She smiles at him and sips her coffee. “I’ve missed you, you know. Ever since… I know we weren’t close before, but I thought we could be.”   
“Me too.” He downs his coffee in one go, because he’s apparently slept for 20 hours, and he kind of needs it. “I mean… I still think we can.” He shrugs and reaches out a hand to take hers.

She lets him. “I don’t know… I’m married. Even if it still feels weird to say.”   
“Not that kind of close, although…” He chuckles. “No, I’m sorry. But I’ll be honest, I really didn’t think… I haven’t really done the whole relationship thing, not that that’s a surprise to anyone. So yeah, you kind of surprised me there.” Another chuckle. “I don’t know. You probably don’t wanna hear about it, it’s gotta be kinda awkward.”   
“No, it’s fine.” She squeezes his hand. “I almost wish… But no, I love Sam, I’m happy we’re married.”   
Ted isn’t about to pretend his heart didn’t skip a beat, but he’s also not about to let it show. “Are you?” He pulls her into a hug, and okay, maybe he is gonna acknowledge it. “You almost wish… What?”

“Oh, it’s stupid.” She hugs him back. “I almost wish I’d listened to you back then. That I’d left Sam. Been with you.”   
“Not too late.” Because he’s sitting in his bed and he has Charlotte halfway in his lap, and he’s hugging her, so he’s allowed to make this mistake, he decides. “A little more complicated now, sure, but… Not too late.” He rests his cheek on the top of her head and allows himself to enjoy the moment before she pulls away and leaves.

She doesn’t. “I suppose.” She sighs, but she keeps her arms around him. “Ted… Can I ask you a favour?”   
“Of course.” It’s not yet noon, so he doesn’t hope she’ll ask to stay the night, at least he tells himself that. “Anything.”   
“I think… I’m going back home to Sam, but I want to forgive him, and… I think it’s easier. If… If we’re even.” She pulls away. “It’s not fair to you to ask, but—”   
“Don’t ask then.” Ted knows, or hopes he knows, and he will. “I’ll take what I can get.” He reaches out and cradles her face with one hand, and it would be so easy to lean in to kiss her, her lips are less than a foot from his, and it would be so easy.

He doesn’t, but not because he doesn’t want to. It’s because she does it first. She kisses him, and it’s soft and sweet and almost chaste and over too quickly, but Ted doesn’t mind. He keeps his eyes closed, even when she pulls away, keeps a hand on her cheek. “Ted?” She’s practically whispering now. “Look at me.”   
He opens his eyes and smiles. “I mean it, Charlotte. I’m not a proud man, I’ll take what I can get.”

“I’m a married woman.” She looks down at her hands in her lap, twists her wedding ring. “But I guess Sam is a married man.” She doesn’t lift her head, but she puts both hands on his hips. “If it had to be anyone… I’d rather it’s you.”   
“I’ll take it all.” It takes a lot of self control for him to not just kiss her again, not just pull her close and never let her go. But he manages. “I just… Don’t stop talking to me again, okay?”   
“Okay Ted.” She pulls him in for a kiss.

They don’t need words after that, and he kind of understands how she’s managed with Sam, but still. He likes talking, likes asking. Likes pretending he doesn’t know the answer. It’s Charlotte, and he can sort of admit to himself that he’s in love with her, even if it’s still hard to admit out loud, so even though he should remember that she’s literally married, he lets himself just enjoy what happens without thinking.

Charlotte stays. She gets out of bed immediately and gets dressed, but then she sits on the edge of his bed and looks at him. "I should go home."

"Why?" Ted asks. He doesn't want her to leave, but he's also not gonna stop her. "Is  _ he  _ home?" He doesn't know why naming Sam feels worse now, but it does. She knows who he means, so it doesn't matter.

"No." She looks at him for a few seconds. "I… Thank you. For this. It was… I needed that, it was nice. But… No more. You understand that, right?"

"I understand." He holds his arms out to her. "For now though… Lay down with me a moment." He knows he talks too much, and especially after having sex, but it's Charlotte. He wants to talk to her, wants to tell her things. "Just for a moment, come on, I wanna talk to you."

She smiles, but she lays down next to him. On top of his covers, but that's fair enough, she's fully dressed and he's still stark naked, and she does nestle into him when he wraps his arms around her. "It's not… I… It's not like that, Ted." Her voice is soft, both in tone and volume. "It's not like that."

"I know." He takes a deep breath. "I just talk easier like this, and well… You know, with you, before I fell for you, I thought I was fine, I thought, hey, I'm never gonna fall in love, not until I know it will work. But here I am. In love with you, who is married to someone else. But you're here with me right now." He's not good with words, and he's pretty sure a solid half of those lines are badly remembered song lyrics or movie quotes, but he'll take it. "You're here with me."

"Oh Ted." She doesn't move away, doesn't do anything, just sighs. "I'm sorry I'm not in love with you."

"Yeah, me too." He kisses her. "This is fine, though."

"Yeah." Another sigh. "I sometimes wish I was."

"I always wish you were." He holds her tighter for a moment. He knows he'll never have this again, but he'll be damned if he misses a single second. "But you're not, and that's fine."

"I'm sorry." She looks up at him and kisses him. It's on the lips, but it still feels chaste and almost friendly. He wishes it didn't. "I shouldn't have asked this of you, knowing your feelings, it wasn't fair—"

"Hey." He smiles at her. "You said if it had to be anyone, then you'd rather it was me. That's still something. It's not… Love or whatever, but it's something. Isn't it?"

"It is, it's…" She pulls away a little to shrug. "I don't know. I guess I'd just… I'd rather it's someone I like, someone I care about. A friend. Maybe even… It's not fair, but maybe it's because of your feelings. It's not meaningless to you, at least I hope not."

"It isn't." He pulls her in again. "It really isn't."

They lay together in silence for a few minutes, then Charlotte mentions something about lunch, and Ted realises that he's hungry, so he gets up and gets dressed.

Charlotte stops him before he leaves the room. "Hey, um, can we maybe… Not mention this to Melissa?"

Ted shakes his head. "I mean we can, but I'll be honest with you, damage is probably already done. The walls here are paper thin and neither of us are what you'd call quiet." He shrugs. "If it makes you feel better, her knowledge of this will exclusively be used to make me talk about my feelings or whatever, so like, it's not like you risk anything."

She shakes her head, but she's smiling a bit. "Alright then. Guess it's done."

"Yeah." Ted goes to the kitchen, Charlotte behind him.

Melissa doesn't leave her room, but there's music playing, so he knows she's home. He doesn't knock, just makes cream cheese bagels for himself and Charlotte, which they eat while seated at the big table in the kitchen. They talk, and they do talk about Sam and about what they've done and what it means, but it doesn't feel serious. It's just a conversation that needs to be had, so they have it, even though the mood is wrong.

Ted texts Emma at some point, asking her to come over when she's off, and Charlotte does leave after lunch, but she promises to be in touch. Ted almost believes her.


	12. Chapter 12

Melissa emerges from her bedroom about half an hour after Charlotte leaves. At this point, Ted has sat himself down in front of the TV and is watching Real Housewives, because that’s about his level of engagement in the world.

She sits next to him. “So. Charlotte.”   
“Don’t wanna talk about it,” he replies. “I’m fine.”   
“Are you?” He suspects she’s raised an eyebrow, but he’s not looking at her.

“Well no, but I don’t wanna do this twice, so you can wait until Emma comes over.” He does look at her now. “She told me to tell Charlotte. I mean, I want to argue, but shit, it kind of worked, didn’t it?”

“Having sex with someone who’s married is crossing a line, even for you.” Melissa puts an arm around his waist. “Isn’t it?”   
“I don’t know.” He shrugs, careful not to shrug her off. Then he puts an arm around her shoulders. “I’ve never done it before. Didn’t bother me much, but maybe it’s because it’s her. I’ll have to wait and see. But I mean, I’ve fucked someone who was engaged, and that didn’t bother me, so like, I don’t think so.”   
“Who was engaged?”   
“Jane.” Melissa looks confused, so he decides to elaborate. “Emma’s sister, the one she almost thought I had a kid with.”   
“Yeah, no, I know who Jane is, it’s just, the only people you’ve hooked up with that you actually call by name is Carlos and Charlotte.”   
“And you,” he adds. “And Jane. And, well, Paul doesn’t really count, but Paul. And Zoey, sometimes. I  _ know _ her name, at least.”

“Yeah, well, I think you remember more names than you let on.” Melissa shrugs. “You’re just an asshole.”   
“I absolutely am, but no seriously, I really don’t remember their names. Let’s see, there was…” He thinks. “Emma’s friend, I think his name might have been Jake? Or something like that. Josh, maybe? Not sure. Um, that girl right before Zoey, I think she had a really similar name, maybe Zarah? And I mean, I only learned Zoey’s name because you invited her for breakfast.” He shrugs. “I seriously don’t remember.”

“You’re such a fucking asshole.” Melissa shakes her head. “I remember the name of every person I’ve had sex with. I can give you a fucking list.”   
“I kinda wanna ask, I kinda don’t wanna know.”   
“I said I  _ can _ give you a fucking list, not that I will.” She laughs. “Okay, this conversation has gone off topic enough, when’s Emma gonna be here?”   
“She’s off at four, so like, depends on whether she plans to walk or make me pick her up.”   
“Makes sense.” Melissa lays down on the couch with her head in Ted’s lap. “I’m gonna take a nap.”   
“Right here? I’m gonna wake you up in like ten minutes like this, you know that.”

She doesn’t reply, but she does move away from him and grabs a throw pillow instead.

Emma does make him come pick her up. “What’s up, you wanted to talk?” she asks as soon as she gets in the car.

“I’ll tell you when we’re home, I’ve already made Melissa wait for several hours. I just don’t wanna do this twice.” He pulls away from Beanie’s and starts driving home. “But uhh, I took your advice, don’t think this was the outcome you expected.”   
“Fair enough.” She shrugs. “Don’t know what advice you’re referring to, but fair enough.”

Once they get back to Ted and Melissa’s, Emma says her hellos, and then the girls more or less force Ted to sit on one end of the couch. “Okay,” Melissa says. “What the fuck happened this morning?”   
“Okay, catching Emma up. Um, Charlotte was here? Like, she showed up and asked to talk to me, so we talked. She… Sam is still seeing Zoey, surprising absolutely no one, but she walked in on them a few days ago, so she’s cross with Sam. Which, fair enough, they got married eight days ago, I don’t actually blame her, not that I expected better from him. So uhh, we talked a bit, I kind of let slip that I’m in love with her, which kinda sucks, but you know, she was nice about it. Um, talking, the usual stuff, then she kissed me. I didn’t do anything, well okay, that’s probably a lie, but she was the one to kiss me, so like, not my fault. Um, you know, stuff.” He kinda waves his hand, because both Emma and Melissa are staring at him, and he suddenly feels awkward. “More talking. I thought I knew the score with her, but I never do. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll take what I can get.”

“That sounds very unhealthy, but alright.” Emma shrugs. “I mean, okay, let’s be clear here, you guys had sex?” Ted just nods. “And she was the one who initiated it?” Another nod. “And she didn’t run out screaming immediately after?”   
“No, she didn’t. She actually stayed for lunch.” Ted shakes his head slowly. “I don’t wanna talk about it, I know you both want me to like, talk about my feelings or whatever, but I don’t. It’s fine. I’m fine, we talked, I told her before that I wasn’t gonna do this if she was just gonna stop talking to me again, and she promised to stay in touch. Don’t know how much I believe that, but…” He shrugs. “Here’s to hoping.”

Melissa and Emma exchange a glance that Ted takes to mean  _ are we gonna let him off the hook? _ and then Emma speaks. “Sounds like you’re alright,” she says. “But uhh, are you actually? I mean, the woman you love kinda just waltzed in here, fucked you, and left you for her husband, are you actually okay?”

“I’m fine.” Ted can hear the strain in his own voice, and he suddenly feels tears in his eyes. “Okay, so that’s a fucking lie, but like. It’s fine. I know what I’m doing.”

“Alright.” Emma gives him a hug. “I’m staying to get wine drunk and watch reality TV though, you look like you need a night.”   
“Yeah.” Ted hates crying, and especially in front of people, but it’s Emma and Melissa, so he’s kind of okay. Kind of. And then they turn the TV back on and Melissa orders takeout and finds some wine, so he can kind of ignore it until it stops. They don’t talk about Charlotte any more that night, and he’s just fine with that, honestly.

Ted does work over the summer. Admittedly, it's just that Emma convinces her boss to hire him to cover shifts of all the people who are gone for the summer, and being a barista kind of sucks, but hey. The money's decent, and Enma is the one who's training him, which means a whole shift of just the two of them, partly working, partly just dicking around. He has fun. Paul comes in quite often, more than Ted has expected, and they end up talking a lot. They've been friends for a while, Ted realises, without ever doing more than small talking, and it's nice to actually make friends.

Charlotte comes in too. Sometimes she's with Sam, and on those days, they just small talk, but sometimes she's alone, and on those days, they have a real conversation. She's a lot happier, and Ted says he's glad, and tries to mean it. She also tells him that Sam isn't seeing Zoey anymore, but Ted works with Zoey and knows full well that that's a lie. He doesn't know if he should tell Charlotte or not.

"You know," Ted says one day when he's tired of lying to her. "I know you say Sam isn't seeing Zoey anymore, and I do think that's true, but Zoey works here, we're friends, she still talks about Sam a lot." He sighs. "I guess it could just be that she's not over him, she doesn't say anything specific." That's a lie. "I just… I don't want you to get hurt, you know, I could ask her. If you wanted to know for sure."

Charlotte smiles at him over the counter. No one's come to order for a while, so she's almost done with her coffee, despite never having sat down. "I don't know, Ted, it's…" She shrugs. "I want to think better of him."

"Of course, me too." He smiles. He's gotten far too used to lying to her. "I just, I know Zoey. She's not gonna leave well enough alone, and Sam does come here sometimes, they're definitely still on speaking terms. Which we are too, of course, but still, I think… Whatever happened between Sam and Zoey was serious, so I don’t know what speaking terms mean for them.” He isn’t sure why he’s keeping their secret. Maybe it’s just because he’s at work and doesn’t want to cause a scene, maybe he wants Charlotte to be happy. He knows that his motivations are probably more selfish than that, namely that he doesn’t want her to stop talking to him again. He’s enjoyed getting to see her on the regular over the past month or so, and he doesn’t want to give that up.

“I don’t know.” Charlotte downs the dregs of her coffee. “I think… At this point, I think I’m almost happier not knowing. I know that seems strange, but… If he really has to do that, if he really needs to see her too, then… I’d rather just believe that he isn’t.”   
“Sure.” He smiles at her. “That’s fine. I just figured… Rather I tell you than walk in on them again, I suppose.”   
“Yeah, I guess.” She shrugs. “But oh well. Thanks for the chat, Ted, but I should probably get going.” She smiles at him. “Are you working tomorrow?”   
“Yeah, I’m opening, so only until noon.” He smiles back. “Are you coming in then?”   
“I think so.” She nods. “When do you open?”   
“5am, but there’s usually not really anyone here until six.” It’s not that it’s a lie or anything, but he doesn’t know why he feels the need to tell her. “Emma used to come sit with me when I came in early to study.” It’s because he wants her to do that. He knows full well what he’s doing.

“Alright.” She takes his hand, gives it a quick squeeze. “Do me a favour and ask Zoey. Don’t tell me, just… So that I can ask you without having to wait.”   
“Sure.” He squeezes her hand back. “I will.” He won’t, but mostly because he doesn’t have to, and Zoey will only speak to him if she really has to. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”   
“See you.” She draws her hand back and leaves.

Ted’s shift seems to pass a little faster after that, as does his evening plans of going to the movies with Paul.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had calculated this to be done when Black Friday came out so that I could start posting all my fics from there, but either I've missed several days, or my math got real bad

Charlotte walks up to Beanie’s as he’s unlocking the door the next morning. “Hey Ted.” She smiles.

“Oh hey.” He smiles back and pushes the door open. “We technically don’t open for another ten minutes, but go ahead and take a seat, I’ll just get everything up and running.” He’s inordinately pleased with her being there. He doesn’t know what she wants, and he really doesn’t care; she’s there to see him, and she’s smiling, and that’s all that matters.

He starts up the machines and the register, getting everything sorted. “Do you want anything?” he asks, while still behind the counter. “My treat, but it’s 5am, so I guess you need coffee.”   
“Yeah, kind of.” She smiles. “Just a latte. Thanks a lot, I can pay for it.”   
“No, no, stay where you are.” He gestures for her to remain seated and starts making her coffee, plus one for himself. He puts both of them on his own card, then goes to sit with her. He sits next to her instead of across. “I need to be able to see the door,” he explains, and while that’s technically true, it’s also a little bit because he wants to be close to her.

“Oh, of course.” Charlotte smiles and doesn’t move away. It’s a bench and they’re sitting far too close, but she doesn’t move away. “I uhh, I wanted to ask you something, but I kind of think I should apologise first.”   
“Don’t apologise until you’ve done something wrong.” Ted grins at her. “And if you’re me, even then, only if you care about their opinion of you.”   
“I do care about your opinion of me, and it’s not a fair request, so I’m sorry.” She shakes her head a little bit. “Um, I lied to you yesterday, Sam is still seeing Zoey, I know, I found out last week. It’s… Yeah. Not fun.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I knew already, I just… Didn’t wanna hurt your feelings, I guess. But I will admit, I was trying to get you to ask.” He puts an arm around her shoulders, but stops himself from pulling her in.

He could’ve spared the care; she leans into him, putting an arm around his waist. “Yeah, I considered, but I wanted to believe… I mean, I still do. I love Sam, he’s my husband, it’s… It’s not fun.”   
“No.” Ted kisses the top of her head because honestly, it’s 5am and she’s leaning into his embrace, and she already knows how he feels. He doesn’t really need to be subtle. “It’s gotta suck, honestly.”

“Yeah, well, you’d know.”   
“Not really.” He kisses her again. He halfway wishes she’d react, is halfway happy she lets him without commenting. “I mean, you’re fucking someone else and that does kinda suck but like, you’re married to him, not to me, so it’s fair.”   
“If…” Charlotte shakes her head. “It doesn’t matter.” She sighs. “I could leave him, you know.”   
“You could. I’d even say you should.” Another kiss. She looks up at him this time, smiling a little. He’s tempted to try to kiss her lips, but doesn’t. “I mean, if he keeps cheating on you, what’s the point?”   
“I don’t know.” She’s still looking at him. “I’m sorry.”

He’s about to ask what for, but then she puts a hand on his cheek and straightens her back to kiss him, and he’s not about to interrupt that. Not when he can pull her closer and put a hand behind her neck and hold her close while he kisses her.

She does break away eventually. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t—”   
“Charlotte.” He smiles at her. “Don’t apologise to me, this is good. This is… Well, given the circumstances, this is the best I could hope for.” He doesn’t drop his hand from her neck, and she doesn’t drop hers from his face either.

“I know, I just… I’m taking advantage of your feelings, and I’m sorry.” She does drop her hand now, but she doesn’t pull away, and she still has an arm around his waist. She looks down. “I knew I was going to do this, that’s why I apologised. I… If I can’t get Sam to stop, at least I can do this. But it’s not fair to you, and I shouldn’t.”   
“Hey.” He pulls her closer again, tilts her head up to look at him. “Hey, I don’t mind. If second is what I get to be, well, at least I still get to do this.” He kisses her. “I told you last time, I’m not a proud man, I’m not picky. I’ll take what I can get.”   
“Last time.” She smiles a little bit. “Last time I said it was the last time.”   
“Yeah, and I kind of hoped you were wrong, so don’t you dare apologise anymore.” He kisses her again, enjoying that he can get to do so. “If you apologise for one more thing…”   
“One more,” she says, but her smile widens. “I’m not… I’m not in love with you, I just… I do think I’m into you, somehow, but… Not like that. And I’m sorry, because I know it’s different for you.” Her smile veers into a grin. “Okay, I’m done apologising now.”   
“I forgive you.” He kisses her again. “For all of it. It’s fine. I know, you’re in love with Sam, you married him, it makes sense. But I still get this.” He pulls her into a kiss, and this time, he doesn’t let her pull away for apologies or explanations. This time, he pulls her into his lap and keeps kissing her.

When a customer comes in twenty minutes later, Ted is notably dishevelled from making out with Charlotte, but he manages to act like a professional. He doesn’t really mind.

She sticks around until his shift finishes, when Emma shows up. She raises an eyebrow at them, and Ted knows he’ll have some explaining to do, but he doesn’t mind.

For the moment, he gives Charlotte a ride home, and kisses her goodbye in the car even though they’re right outside the apartment building in which she lives, and they probably shouldn’t be seen there at all.

Emma calls him in the evening, after her shift. He’s asleep by then, but the ringtone wakes him up. “Huh?”   
“Ted. What the fuck?” Emma sounds far too awake for 7pm, but then again, she hasn’t been up since four. “What were you doing with Charlotte?”   
“Uhh, honestly? Mostly making out.” He’s tired and he wants to go back to bed. “Really long story, um, I’m opening again tomorrow, so I’d really like to sleep, can we maybe talk about this another time?”

“Sure, I don’t have work tomorrow, so you’re coming straight to mine when you’re off.”

“Alright, why not.” He sighs. “Goodnight Emma.”

“Goodnight Ted.”   
He hangs up and puts his phone away, going straight back to sleep.

He does drive to Emma’s after work the next day. He hasn’t told Melissa about Charlotte yet, mostly because he isn’t entirely sure what’s actually happening. He’ll need to have a proper talk with Charlotte at some point, figure out what exactly their relationship or whatever is, but for now, he’s pretty happy just letting things happen.

Emma opens quickly enough after he knocks that he suspects she’s been waiting for him. “Hi Ted. Glad you’re here. Come in, we have to talk.”   
“Alright.” He walks in, dumps his jacket and shoes, and then looks at her. “What do we need to talk about.”   
“What the fuck dude?” Emma goes to sit on her couch, so Ted sits next to her. “I’m pretty fucking sure I caught you kissing Charlotte yesterday at work, not to mention, you two left together. In your car. What the fuck?”   
“Okay, do you want the full story?” He laughs. “Alright, you know most of it, but we’ve been on speaking terms since the whole  _ let’s fuck so she gets even with Sam _ thing, but nothing has happened. Sam told her he’s stopped seeing Zoey which you and I both know is a lie, so the day before when we were chatting, I kinda… I didn’t want to tell her, it’s not really any of my business, but I did try to get her to ask, but she didn’t.” He shrugs. “Then yesterday, she came in as I was opening, so I sat down with her to talk. Basically, she knew Sam was seeing Zoey, and she… I don’t know what she wants, I don’t care. I guess she wants to be even with him, maybe? Something like that, as I said, I don’t care. She kissed me, we were making out for a bit, she stuck around for the rest of my shift, I gave her a ride home. That’s it.” Another shrug. “I don’t know what it means exactly, I’ll need to talk to her, but for now… I’m alright.”

“Okay, what the fuck?” Emma, who has looked progressively more confused as Ted talks, is looking positively disturbed by the time he stops. “Okay, okay, so what, you guys are like, dating now? What?”   
“As I said, I don’t know.” Ted laughs a little. “It’s not a big deal, this was the best possible outcome for me, you know that. I wasn’t gonna get better. But… Don’t tell anyone at work, I don’t want Zoey to know. She’ll tell Sam, and we already know he’s a cheating liar, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s a hypocrite. I don’t want him to get mad at her.”   
“Why not?” Emma, seemingly recovered from her surprise, shrugs. “I mean, he might be mad enough to leave her.”   
“Yeah, but I don’t trust him. He’s a scumbag, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’ll just like…” Ted shrugs. He’s not sure where he’s going. “Just don’t. Plus, I don’t think she’d stay with me if Sam left her, so I’m better off saving their marriage too.” He laughs. “That’s kind of ridiculous.”   
“Yeah, it really is.” Emma is staring at him. “Are you gonna like… Do anything? Tell her? Anything like that?”

“Tell her what? That I think her husband’s a scumbag? I think she knows. That I’m in love with her? She knows. I think she feels more bad about this because of me than Sam, she kept apologising to me. I told her I don’t care.”   
“Tell her that you want to save her marriage.” Emma looks like she can’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.   
Frankly, neither can Ted. “I mean, I don’t. I want to save my relationship with her. Not the same thing.” He pulls his legs up on the couch. “I mean, I don’t know. I don’t even know where we stand right now, I figure I’ll find out what’s up before I start to tip the scales. I will absolutely ruin her marriage in a heartbeat if it means she stays with me, no regrets, but as long as I don’t know, I prefer this. Less risk.”   
“You’re not afraid Sam’s gonna beat you to shit if he finds out?”   
“Oh, I’m terrified.” He laughs. “But I can’t worry about that right now. First I gotta figure out what’s actually happening with me and Charlotte.” He smiles a little. “Not gonna lie, it’s kind of nice to say that.”   
Emma shakes her head. “Yeah sure. Okay, fine, keep me updated? Maybe?”   
“Yeah, of course.”   
“Good. Now.” She turns on the TV. “I know you like shitty TV, and I was more or less planning on marathoning American Idol, wanna stay for it?”   
“Absolutely.” Ted grins at her and sinks properly into the couch.

He ends up sleeping at Emma’s because they have an afternoon shift together the next day, and if he stays, they can break out a bottle of whiskey with their dinner.


	14. Chapter 14

Charlotte texts and asks if she can come stay the night the one weekend of the summer that Melissa is out. Ted still hasn’t told Melissa anything — not because he doesn’t want to, he just doesn’t know exactly what to say to keep her out of it — and he wonders if Charlotte has. It doesn’t matter. He says yes of course.

She knocks on his door Saturday afternoon, and he goes to open. He’s gotten Emma to cover his shift by basically just telling her what was going on, so he’s home alone. “Hey.” He smiles at her. “Come on in.”   
“Thanks.” She steps inside. He waits for her to take off her jacket before giving her a hug. “Hey.” She rests her head against his chest.

“I’m happy to see you. Mels isn’t home this weekend, so it’s just us.”   
“Yeah, I know.” Charlotte takes half a step back, but she doesn’t drop her arms, so he doesn’t either. “I talk to her, you know.”   
“I know, but I didn’t know if you told her about… Well.” He smiles a little. “This. Us.”   
“I haven’t.” Charlotte smiles too. “I just asked her if she had plans, and when she said she did, I said maybe later.” She gets on her toes to kiss him. It shouldn’t surprise him, but it does. “I’m surprised you haven’t told her.”   
He shrugs, but he knows full well that he’s grinning and can’t quite stop. “I didn’t know what to tell her. I don’t even know what this is yet.” He kisses her again, because apparently that’s a thing he can do now. Without worrying about how she’s gonna react. It’s nice. “I don’t mind, though, it’s good.”   
Charlotte laughs, and okay, so now that he’s sort of admitted to being in love with her and isn’t bitter about it, her laughter is unfairly pretty and  _ she’s _ unfairly pretty, so he kisses her again. “Oh Ted.” She smiles at him. “I don’t know. It’s… Something.”   
“Yeah.” He’s still grinning. “Something is good.” He kisses her again. “How about taking this  _ something _ to my room?”   
“Oh Ted.” She laughs at him again. “Lets do it.”   
“You’re wearing out my name.” He laughs and gives her another kiss. “Not that I mind, it’s nice.”

Remembering the first time they slept together, when he’d wanted to, Ted sweeps Charlotte off her feet, quite literally, and carries her to his room.

She stays in his bed this time. Ted still hasn’t stopped grinning at her. “What’s up?” she asks, also smiling. “You’re smiling.”   
“Well, you see, I fell in love with this woman, but she married another guy, so I’d kinda given up on anything.” He pauses to kiss her. “But she’s in my bed right now, so I’m in a pretty good mood, all things considered.”

Charlotte kisses him. “I know you said not to apologise, but I’m still sorry.”   
“Don’t be.” He brushes a bit of stray hair away from her face. “I told you already, several times, I’m fine with just this.” He kisses her forehead. “Which reminds me, it might be time to put words to the  _ something _ we have here.”   
“Yeah.” She sighs. “I don’t know… What would you call it?”   
“Honestly?” He laughs a little. “An extramarital affair. No need to pretend it’s anything else, although…” He considers how much he’s willing to sink into this. “I don’t mind if it is.”

She sighs again. “I guess it just is an affair. I just… It makes it feel like I’m cheating on Sam.”   
“You are. Unless he knows about this, you are.” Ted kisses her again. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you, but… I don’t wanna pretend, you know?”   
She smiles, and it’s a little fragile, but it’s a smile. “I know, and I understand that. It’s fine, we’ll be fine, we’ll… I don’t know. I think we’ll just do this. But… We’re still friends, right?”   
“Of course.” He pulls her in for a kiss and lingers on it for just a bit too long, but it doesn’t matter now. “By the way, I did tell Emma about this, about  _ us _ , but I told her not to tell anyone at work, I didn’t want it getting back to Zoey, I guess… I guess you don’t want that either?”   
“No, I think… It’s fine that you tell Emma, and it’s fine that you tell Melissa too, I don’t mind, but… Only them, alright?” She shakes her head. “What I mean is… Only your friends, only people you can trust. I don’t… I don’t want Sam finding out, I don’t know— I don’t want him to leave.” She’s tearing up now.

Ted wipes her tears away. “I know. It’s alright.” He kisses her softly. “It’s alright. I told Emma already, I’m not… I don’t want you to leave Sam. I mean, I do, of course I do, but I’m not gonna try to make that happen. I get this, which is far more than I hoped for when I went to your wedding.” He shouldn’t say anymore, because he’s not a sappy person, and he’s never gonna be able to match this level of sweet, but Charlotte is still crying, and he wants her to smile again, and he wants it to be because of him. “You know, when we danced at your wedding. I called you beautiful, and you were, you  _ are _ , but the reason I told you then was because I thought it was the last chance I’d have.” He smiles. “But then it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t.” She smiles a bit. “I’m…” She kisses him. “Thanks.”   
“Of course.” He smiles again. “Tell you what, I’m getting hungry. Want me to cook for you?”   
“Oh.” She kisses him. “That would be nice.”

Charlotte stays. She sits in the kitchen while he cooks, occasionally getting up to help him, or just to give him a kiss. She eats sitting next to him at the round table in the kitchen, small talking and laughing between bites and complimenting his food. Ted doesn’t fully drop his smile, and he savours being able to just reach out for her. Take her hand, wrap an arm around her shoulders and squeezing her, pulling her into a proper hug, kissing her on the forehead, the cheek, the lips. She’s right there, and she stays after they eat, helps him rinse the dishes and putting them in the machine, helps with everything. Still with him. She doesn’t mention Sam any more, and they only talk about Zoey in the context of Ted complaining about her being a shitty coworker and a terrible manager. He wants to pretend like she’s never leaving, but he keeps reminding himself that she’s married to someone else, keeps glancing at her left hand and the little band of gold on her fourth finger, a solid, tangible reminder that she’s not his to keep.

They end up on the couch after dinner, cuddling and kissing and not really watching the TV, although it’s on. “Hey.” Ted breaks away from a kiss after a while. “How long are you staying?”

“Until tomorrow.” Charlotte kisses him again. “I told you that already.”   
“Yeah, I know, but how long? In other words, should I warn Mels?” It’s not why he asks. He isn’t planning on warning her, because it’s much easier to tell her when she’s asking questions.

Charlotte shrugs. “I don’t know. Sam isn’t coming home until late, after dinner, so I can stay… For the day, at least. I should probably make it look like I’ve been home.”   
“Probably.” Ted tightens his arms around her, almost reflexively. “Charlotte…” He doesn’t know what he wants to say, but he wants to say something.   
“Can I ask you something?” she says before he finds out. “You always call Melissa just Mels. How come I’ve never heard you call me a nickname?”

He doesn’t shrug, because they’re next to each other on the couch, and that would almost certainly knock her off, but he tries to give off the same energy. “I usually don’t shorten names. I mean, my own, because Theodore is a terrible name and I prefer Ted as just, as a general rule. I should honestly get it changed. I call her Mels because she told me once that no one’s called her that for almost ten years and she misses it, so. I can call you something if you want, but I don’t make a habit of inventing nicknames for people.”   
“No, I like Charlotte, I was just wondering.” She kisses him. “Theodore…”   
“Please don’t.”   
“It’s a nice name.” She smiles. “But alright, Ted. It’s what I’ve always known you as.”   
“And what you always will.” He laughs. Then he kisses her, and not quickly, because it’s Charlotte, who he’s wanted for almost two years, and who is here, in his apartment, making out with him. She’s cradling his face and he can feel her ring against his cheek, but he ignores it.

For once, he ignores it.


	15. Chapter 15

Waking up next to Charlotte is nice. They’re both still naked, a tangle of limbs beneath his covers, and he wouldn’t trade it for the world. She’s still asleep, so he just places a soft kiss on her forehead and stays still, watching her. Ted is not the kind of person who has ever taken the time to really think about the people he’s slept with, or even the ones he’s had relationships with, even if those relationships have mostly been short and messy and full of sex. But Charlotte is different; Charlotte is the person he’s fallen in love with, which sucks because she’s married to someone else, but that’s easy to forget here, when she’s asleep in his bed and he doesn’t have the heart to wake her up even though he’s getting hungry.

She does wake up by herself soon after. She smiles at him. “Good morning.”   
“Morning.” He kisses her. “Did you sleep alright.”   
“Yeah.” She rests her head against his chest. “I missed this.”   
“What, sleeping together? I think this is the first time, Charlotte.” He puts a bit of a laugh in his voice, because he knows what she means.

“Yeah, but just… In general. Not with you, just… With someone.”   
“With Sam?” He doesn’t want to bring it up, not really, but he also doesn’t want to ignore it completely. She’s married and Ted cannot let himself forget that.

“No, just… With anyone.” She smiles. “I’m alright with it only being you.”

He should leave, make a joke, anything to not let his feelings get hung up on  _ only being you _ , but he doesn’t. He kisses her instead. “Well then, guess it’s only me.”

She pulls him closer. “Yeah. I don’t, I mean… Sam is a good guy, he’s a good husband, he is, but… He’s not good at this.”

There are a lot of things Ted wants to say but shouldn’t. About how Sam always gives Zoey hugs when he comes in alone, about how he never seems to stop touching her when she lets him in the back room, always with an arm around her or a hand on her shoulder, about how he never seems to do the same with Charlotte. But he doesn’t say any of that, because that would upset her, and upset is the last thing he wants her to be. “We should probably get up soon, breakfast seems to be calling me,” he says instead.   
She chuckles at that. “Sure.” She slides one hand down his arm, under the covers, and moves to rest in on his hip. “But you know, before we get dressed…” She bites her lower lip, and Ted is a weak man, especially when it comes to sex, especially when it comes to Charlotte, so he lets her have her way.

Even if sex was all she wanted from him, he could learn to be okay with that, he thinks.

Charlotte leaves just before dinner, even though he asks her to stay. She kisses him goodbye and smiles and says she'll be back, and then she's gone.

Melissa isn't back yet, which should be concerning because she should be, but Ted isn't in the mood to be concerned, he's in the mood to be drunk, so he eats something because he's not an idiot, and then he finds a bottle of vodka and another of wine, and then he throws himself on the couch and turns on the TV.

Melissa comes home an hour or so after he's started drinking. He's well and proper drunk by then, so he smiles. "Hey Mels!" He has enough of his faculties about him to know that attempting to stand up is a bad idea, so he just waves from the couch. "You're home late."

"And you're fucked." She walks in.

"More than you know." He laughs a little. He's given up trying to pour wine and is just drinking from the bottle, and yeah it probably looks pathetic, but he's in a good mood, mostly. "How are you?"

"Fine." She raises an eyebrow at him, but goes over. "Are you drinking liquor from the bottle?"

"I am not," he says, even though he had, earlier. "That's liquor." He points at the vodka bottle on the table. "But this," he continues, holding up the wine bottle in his hand, "is wine." He takes another swig from the wine bottle; he honestly doesn't know what he's saying anymore, but he's in a mood.

"I'm putting you to bed." Melissa takes the bottle from him. "You're drunk."

"Yeah, but that's no reason to be like this." He pouts, but he also knows that she's right, so he takes the hand she offers and lets her help him to his room. "Hey Mels? Being in love is kinda cool."

She shakes her head. "Sure thing Ted. Just sleep."

"Alright." He's gotten to his bed by now, so he dumps down and smiles at her. "Goodnight Mels."

"Goodnight." She shakes her head slightly and leaves.

Ted does not stay awake long enough to get even slightly more sober.

His hangover has nowhere near passed by noon, but he needs to go to work. Unfortunately, Zoey is the one doubling his shift, so he can't even complain to Emma.

He complains to Zoey instead. "I make bad choices in my life," he says.

"Yeah, I'm aware, I've known you for almost a year."

"Okay, rude." He shrugs. "But fair enough. I was referring to the ridiculous amount of vodka and wine I consumed last night, I feel like I've been kicked by a horny jackass."

"What…" Zoey shakes her head, but she smiles a little bit. "You're a dumbass."

She doesn't sound as angry as she normally is with him, so he decides to make it worse. "Is that fondness I detect in your voice?"

To his surprise, she doesn't get pissy after that. She rolls her eyes at him and hip checks him on her way to the back room, but that's not annoyance.

Sam comes in while Zoey is still out back. "Hi Ted."

"Hiya Sam, what can I get you?" Ted does not want to see Sam. He also does not want to lose his job.

"Is Zoey here?"

"Yeah, she's out back, she'll be out in a second." Ted drums on the counter. "If you're not gonna order could you step aside? There's a line."

"I am gonna order." Sam smiles, but it's uncomfortable, almost cruel. "I am gonna order you to stop sleeping with my wife."

"Yeah, that's great, but seriously, I'm at work, I have better things to worry about. Order something or get out of the way." So Ted's customer service skills could use some work, but it's Sam, so he's not worried. "My shift ends at the same time as Zoey's, if you wanna have private conversation, it will be then."

"Alright, cool." Sam steps aside. "I'll be back then."

Realistically, Ted should be worried about that threat, but he's at work and hungover, so his first worry is that the coffee machine backs up on him, and his brain isn't prepared to handle more than one thing.

He does tell Zoey about Sam's badly concealed threats. He doesn't tell her that he's still sleeping with Charlotte, in fact he lies and says he hasn't since the time shortly after the wedding that Sam already knows about. She tells him not to worry about it, but let her leave first.

He concludes that Zoey is an alright person when he leaves ten minutes after her and she's pinned against a wall by Sam, making out. Sam is suitably distracted, so Ted gets to his car and drives away without incident.

He calls Charlotte. "Hey, we need to talk."

"What's up?" She sounds happy.

Ted sighs. "Sam came into Beanie's today. He was threatening me for sleeping with you. I didn't tell him anything, and I straight-up lied to Zoey and said we haven't, but still. He showed up when we were off too, Zoey was kind enough to keep him distracted, but…" He doesn't know where to end this. "It's an issue."

"It is." Any happy tone has left her voice, and he hates that. "I'm sorry, I'll… Talk to him, I guess."

"Yeah, just…" Ted hesitates, not because he doesn't know what he wants to say, but because he knows she doesn't want to hear it. "Just be careful, alright? I hope he won't get violent with you, but I'm pretty sure he was ready to throw hands with me today, so… Be careful."

"I will. Thanks Ted."

"Yeah, I'll see you when I see you. I love you." He doesn't know exactly where that came from, but he supposes it's true enough. He just hadn't planned on saying it.

"I know." There's a little bit of a smile back in her voice. "I'll see you." Then she hangs up.

Ted drives the rest of the way without even turning on the radio. Just his own voice, repeating the words  _ I love you _ until they stop feeling like real words.


	16. Chapter 16

Ted doesn't stop seeing Charlotte, he doesn't get beat up by Sam, and he doesn't repeat his last year of college. Not because he's a fan of having failure on his résumé, but because Charlotte gets him a job, and it's nicer. She's somehow landed herself a job at the tech company they'd interned at when they met, despite being an English major, and she gives him a recommendation, and somehow he's there. It's nice. It's a decent job, better pay than he expected, and it's actually interesting. And Charlotte is there, three cubicles away, smiling at him at times, bringing him shitty coffee from the machine in the break room. Beanie's is only two blocks away, so he can get away with going there anyway, bugging Emma and Zoey and the rest of his former colleagues, and getting decent coffee.

He's been working there for about two weeks when Charlotte corners him in the break room. "Sam is going away with Zoey for the weekend," she says, softly.

"Interesting," he replies. She looks upset, and they're alone, so he takes her hand. "I'm sorry to hear that. Do you wanna come by?"

"Uhh… Yeah, I think so." She smiles a little. "Is Melissa home?"

"Yeah, but I'll tell her what's going on, don't worry." He quickly kisses her forehead. "Just come by whenever."

“Thanks.” Her smile widens. “It means a lot.”   
“Yeah.” He isn’t sure what to do next — they’re at work, after all — so he just drops her hand. “I should get back to work. I’ll see you later.”

“See you.” She smiles and gets on her toes to kiss his cheek. He doesn’t even try to pretend that that doesn’t make him feel weird.

Melissa is home when he comes home, which is good. “Hey Mels. We need to talk.”   
“Oh?” She’s sitting at the dining table and looks surprised that he’s even in the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Well, okay, here’s the thing…” He sits down. “As you know, Charlotte and I have been on speaking terms since the wedding.”   
“Yes, I’m aware, you’re both my friends. And you slept with her literally a week after she got married.”   
“Yeah, I did. That’s sort of the thing.” He smiles, trying to look sheepish, but he’s pretty sure he just looks self-satisfied. “That kind of wasn’t the last time. Like, at all.”

“Ted?” Melissa raises an eyebrow. “What are you saying?”   
“We’re kind of vaguely seeing each other and not telling Sam about it. Or anyone, really; I told Emma, but that was only because she saw us kiss in Beanie’s one time. I was gonna tell you eventually, but uhh, she’s coming by on the weekend and I figured you should know before then, since you’re home this time.” He shrugs. “Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”   
“What do you mean  _ this time _ , Ted?” She only really uses his name when she’s mad at him.

“Remember when you and Cassandra went to that seminar over a weekend and you came home late and I was very drunk?”   
“Yeah, that was literally like, less than a month ago.” Melissa leans back. “She was here?”   
“She was here. Most of the weekend. Stayed the night with me and everything. She’s been here a few times, mostly when you’ve been out.”

“Okay, that’s… Okay.” Melissa shakes her head. “What the fuck? She’s married.”   
“Yes, and her husband’s seeing someone else, so why shouldn’t she?” Ted shrugs. “Mels, I’m in love with her, you know that. This is the best I’m gonna get, I’m taking it.”   
“She’s using you.” Melissa sighs. “You know that, right? She wants sex, she wants to get back at Sam, she wants to feel loved, whatever, she’s using you for that.”   
“I’m aware.” He shrugs. “She knows that too, she’s even apologised. But here’s the thing; I don’t really care. It’s still better. Mels, she kissed me at work. It’s not like she shows up to fuck and leaves immediately after, we talk, we do stupid, sappy, relationship stuff, it’s nice. It’s better than I expected, and I’ll take it. Sure, she’s married to someone else, but fuck, she’s still mine even if she isn’t  _ only _ mine.”   
“So you’re not jealous of Sam?” Melissa asks, suspiciously.

“That’s not what I said.” Ted sighs. “I just mean… Of course I’m jealous of Sam, of course I wish she wasn’t with someone else, but she would be married to him whether she’s seeing me or not, at least like this I’m jealous while still getting what I want.” Another shrug. “It’s not a big deal, I know what I’m doing, alright?”

“Sure.” Melissa smiles at him. “Just… I’m here if you need to talk, alright?”   
“Yeah, I know.” He smiles back. “Thanks. That’s all, I just figured you should know before she was suddenly here, you know.”   
“Right, thanks. Now shoo, some of us didn’t manage to get a job with a failed college degree, I have homework.” She gestures for him to leave.

Ted gets up. “Let me know if you need help or like, moral support.” He smiles. “I’ll see you in a bit.”   
“See ya.”   
Ted heads to the living room to watch TV and leave Melissa alone.


	17. Chapter 17

Charlotte comes home with him Friday after work. She holds his hand in the car, and he kind of smiles about that, even though it's small. Ted never imagined himself having a relationship where sex wasn't the most important thing, but while it's nice, he finds himself enjoying everything else with Charlotte a lot more.

Melissa isn't home yet when they come in. "Hmm. She should be here."

"Maybe she's out." Charlotte smiles at him.

"Maybe." Ted smiles back. "It doesn't matter." He pulls her in for a kiss. "Coffee?"

"Yeah, that would be nice." She nods. "Bet you've gotten good at that after this summer."

"Not at all, the machines at Beanie's are automatic." He laughs and walks to the kitchen. "It's better than when Melissa makes it, though. I don't know how, but she always makes it too bitter." He measures out coffee and starts the machine. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just…" She walks up and gives him a hug. "I miss Sam. Not… It's fine when he's not there, I miss him more when he is. I miss how he used to be."

"Charlotte…" Ted doesn't have anything to say, so he just pulls her closer. "Can I help?"

"No, it's…" She pulls away a little, and there are tears in her eyes. "You're here. I miss him less when you're here."

"I'm here." He leans against the kitchen counter and pulls her close again. "I'm here," he repeats, and then he kisses her. It's not the first time he's kissed her, far from it, but it feels different, and he can't quite place it. Maybe it's just because they're standing in his kitchen, and while he's gotten used to half a relationship, it's the first time it's really felt like one.

Then she pulls away, and he realises. She smiles. "I've missed you too… More than him."

Ted takes her hand. "You're not wearing your wedding ring." And that's why it was different; normally, he can feel the ring against his skin wherever she's holding him, a tangible reminder that she's not his to keep. But not today.

Charlotte hides her hand. "I uhh, I haven't been wearing it for a few days. I wanted Sam to notice, to maybe think he's losing me. Maybe care."

"Is he?" It's not a good question. "Losing you, I mean."

"I don't know." She sighs. "Not entirely, I guess, but…" She sighs. "I want to come here. Not just when he's away or being difficult, but just, any time. I want to see you."

Ted forces his breathing steady, even though he knows she's close enough to feel his heartbeat, which is far from steady. "Charlotte, that's not… You know how I feel about you, that's not fair. You know that." He kisses her to stall. "What am I supposed to make of this?"

"I know." She rests her head against his chest. "I don't know. I think… This is something. It's not love or whatever you want it to be, but… It's something. And I'm sorry, I know it's not fair to you, and I told you, you can walk away anytime you—"

"I can't." He interrupts her because he doesn't want to hear what she says next. "I can't walk away from this. It's… Fuck, Charlotte, I— I love you, you know that, I'm… I can't walk away. Not as long as I have a chance, which I do as long as you keep me here. You understand that, right? You're doing the same with Sam."

"What?"

"He keeps being with someone else, keeps prioritising her over you, but he hasn't left you, so you keep hoping." Ted sighs. "Zoey is doing the same thing with him, lord knows what he wants, but both of you feel like he's prioritising the other. And I'm doing the same thing with you because I know you're only here because Sam isn't fulfilling enough for you, but hey, it's a chance. Slim chance, maybe, but a chance nonetheless. And as long as Sam keeps being a piece of shit, I have a chance, so I stay. Even though I shouldn't, even though I keep getting disappointed, even though I'd love nothing better to move on, I can't, because I have a chance." He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but it's true. I can keep doing this however long you want, because I'm a weak man, especially when it comes to you, and it's fine. I'm fine. But let's not pretend like it's anything else." He pulls her into a hug. "I'm sorry, I know you've had a rough day."

"It's alright." She keeps leaning against him. "You're right, and I am sorry. I am, I just… I don't know what else to do."

"I have a couple of suggestions, but you're not gonna like them." He kisses her hair. "I'll spare you. It's fine. Let's not fight."

"Alright Ted." She holds him, and he can almost forget that there's anything else in the universe. "Alright."

The coffee machine goes off, and the moment breaks. They end up just sitting together on the couch, drinking coffee and making out like teenagers on a second date.

Melissa comes home before dinner, so they eat together all three of them. Melissa tries not to ask questions, Ted sees her stopping herself several times, but she doesn't quite manage. "Charlotte, have you lost your ring?"

"Oh." Charlotte turns her hand to hide the missing ring, then gives up. "No, I just haven't worn it for a couple of days. Sam isn't as observant as he could be." She shrugs. "And it feels weird to wear it when I'm here."

"Yeah, I'm not judging, just curious." Melissa smiles. "I mean, I walked in on you guys making out on the couch, you not wearing your wedding ring just tracks at this point."

Charlotte shrugs again, then looks at Ted. "It is the best day now, but for all the wrong reasons."

That makes Ted's heart skip a beat, but he tries not to let it show, so he wraps his arm around her shoulders and kisses her temple. "Still. A good day is a good day."

"Yeah." She smiles. "Are you done eating?"

"Sure." Ted looks at Melissa. "I cooked, could I get you to clear the table?" He smiles, because he knows that  _ cooked  _ is a strong word for what he did, and because he knows he probably owes her so much for chores over the past two and a half years.

She shakes her head at him. "Remember that I love you, and also, I expect you to do the same next time I bring a date home."

"Wouldn't dream of anything else." Ted grins. "But thanks, I love you too." He stands up and gestures for Charlotte to follow him.

They go back to his room. "We could've done it," she says, smiling. "No reason to make Melissa deal with it."

"I know, but this is more fun." Ted wraps his arms around her. "And she doesn't mind, I think she likes having me owe her."

Charlotte laughs and kisses him. "Well, now that we have time…" She bites her lip, and that's really all the convincing Ted needs to pull her to the bed.


	18. Chapter 18

The weekend with Charlotte is nice, but Ted still ends up with a bitter taste in the back of his throat. Because she leaves. Because she cries about Sam and still goes back to him. Because even though it's been a good weekend, even though she's been happy, even though she admits to smiling more than she has since her wedding, she still goes back. And yeah, she promises to call, promises they'll see each other soon, but it's still not fun.

He ignores this and doesn't get drunk, because he has work in the morning. He does have a glass of wine, but Melissa supports his decision, so it's not too bad.

He's not hungover. He goes to work. Charlotte is there, because of course she is. "Hey Ted."

"Hi Charlotte." He smiles at her. "How was your weekend?"

"It was wonderful." She hip checks him, but they're also in public, so she doesn't acknowledge anything. "How about yours?"

"Yeah, great." Ted wonders, sometimes, if he will ever learn not to smile at Charlotte like he's in love with her, but then again. It seems no one has noticed yet.

Except someone has. Bill, one of his colleagues, comes up to his desk. "Excuse me, Ted?"

"Yeah, what's up?" Ted suspects that Bill doesn't like him very much. "Did you need anything."

"Are you aware that Charlotte is married?"

"Yeah, I went to her wedding." Ted sends Bill a cheap smile. "I've known both her and Sam since before they got engaged." And it's true, but it still sucks to say, because he really has been into Charlotte since before she and Sam got engaged.

"Hmm." Bill looks suspiciously at him. "Why are you flirting with her then?"

"Whatever makes you say I'm flirting?" Ted makes bad choices, he realises, as he stands up and leans too close to Bill. "What, are you jealous?"

Bill, who is happily married and has a daughter, steps away. "You're— You're half my age!" he hisses.

"I'm barely ten years younger." Ted has no guilt about lying about his age, but the truth sticks the landing well enough. "I'm 24."

He's right; Bill steps back. "Well— Well— I never—" He walks away.

Ted sits back down. He doesn't like Bill. He does like the look Charlotte sends him across the cubicle walls.

Melissa makes him stay home with her that Saturday. "And no inviting Charlotte over, either." Ted agrees because she's his friend, and because it really has been a long time since they've really spent a day together.

She wakes him up in the morning. "Rise and shine. I have both coffee and breakfast and it's noon, so you're not allowed to be mad at me."

Ted groans anyway, but he sits up. "Fair enough. Didn't you go out last night? How are you this awake?"

"You've lived with me for almost three years, you must know by now that I sleep about three hours a night." Melissa sets down a coffee mug on the bedside table. "I'll go put bread in the toaster, are you gonna be out by then?"

"Yeah, sure." Ted sighs and grabs the coffee. "What's the plan for today?"

"Don't know yet." Melissa leaves.

Ted gets himself together — by which is meant, he downs the coffee in two quick gulps — and gets dressed.

Melissa is waiting for him in the kitchen, but she's waiting with breakfast, so he's not gonna complain about her just then.

"I have a question," she says as soon as he sits down. "Carlos. Do you still talk to him?"

"No." Ted grabs a bagel. "Not since he left after graduation. Why do you ask?"

"He texted me yesterday." Melissa slides her phone over the table. "I got curious."

Ted takes the phone.  _ How come Ted never answers?  _ He pushes the phone back. "No clue. Haven't heard from him at all." He takes out his own phone. "Not as far as I know, at least." He gets momentarily distracted by a text from Charlotte, saying she's alone until Monday, and he tells her he'll come by, but not today.

"Ted." Melissa taps the table a few times. "Pay attention."

"I am." He puts his phone away and smiles. "Hey, I have a plan for today. Do you have a Netflix password?"

"Uh, I can steal Cassie's, sure. What's up?"

Ted grins. "We're watching musical movies."

So that's exactly what they do. They sit together on the couch for the rest of the day watching every musical movie on Netflix, and order takeout for dinner. They head to bed in the early AMs, and Ted is happy he took a day off for her. He was almost beginning to forget that Melissa, for all her flaws, is his best friend.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make Ted talk about his feelings 2k20 challenge

By the time Christmas rolls around again, Ted has gotten far too used to Charlotte being around, so when she says that she and Sam are going to visit his parents for a week and a half, he thinks he's gonna be fine. Three days later, he is not fine.

He's at Emma's place, watching shitty movies because Paul and Melissa are also both out of town for the holidays. Emma keeps glancing at him without saying anything, until she does. "Dude, stop fidgeting."

"Sorry." Ted forces his hands still in his lap, but seconds later, they're moving again, thumbs counting his knuckles over and over. "I'll try to be still."

"No, okay." Emma pauses the movie. "What's up? I've never known you to be fidgety, what's happening?"

"I don't know." Ted folds his hands together in an attempt to still them, but the urge to move is still there. "Too much coffee?"

"You're a caffeine wreck, there is no such thing for you." Emma reaches out to take his hands. "You're shaking. What the fuck dude?"

"I don't know." Ted grabs Emma's hands, because it does feel better like that. "I don't know."

She smiles. “You’re a mess, Ted,” she tells him. “I love you, but you’re a mess. Talk.”   
“I don’t know what’s wrong.” He shrugs. “I mean it, I don’t. I’d tell you if I did.”

“Talk anyway. Just say whatever, I don’t care, you’ll get there.” Emma lets him go. “What’s up?”

He sighs and pulls himself together. “Right. Okay. Here’s what I know. I’m… Nervous? I’m fidgety and I can’t sit still and I keep anxiously moving, I don’t know why, but it feels like being nervous. Okay. I know that holding your hands is helping, but I don’t know why. I know that I miss Melissa and that being alone is bugging me, and I know that that’s mostly why I’m here. I know that work sucks more than normal, and I’m guessing it’s because Charlotte isn’t there, not that we talk that much at work. Maybe it’s just because Bill is mad at me, but I don’t give a shit about Bill. I don’t know. I don’t care, either. Or… I say that I don’t, at least. Maybe I do. Who knows.”   
“Certainly not you.” Emma shakes her head. “Look, Ted… I think I see what’s happening, and you’re not gonna like it.”   
“Tell me anyway.”   
“You’re lonely,” she says. “And you miss Charlotte.”   
He sighs. “I guess you’re right.” He looks at their hands. “Why does it kind of help to hold your hand?”

“Because your brain doesn’t particularly care who it is, it just needs touch. That doesn’t go as far as you think it does.” Emma draws her hands back. “Alright. We’re gonna go back to watching the movie because there is no easy solution to this, but just… Can you call her?”   
“I guess.” He shrugs again. “But she’s with Sam’s family, so I don’t know… I can try.” He takes out his phone and calls Charlotte.

She picks up immediately. “Hi, is something wrong?”   
“No, nothing is wrong, I just… Do you have time?” Ted looks at Emma.  _ What do I say?  _ he mouths, getting a shrug in return.

“Yeah, I do.” He can hear the smile in her voice. “I’ve missed you.”

Ted’s breath stops. “I’ve missed you too,” he manages. “That’s why I’m calling, actually. I didn’t expect to miss you this much, so…”   
She laughs. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to miss you quite so much either.” Her voice takes a drop. “Sam doesn’t like to touch me when his family is here.”

“I’m sorry.” Ted softens his voice as well. “Is there anything I can do?”

“I don’t know.” She sounds on the verge of tears. “I miss what he used to be.”

“I know.” He hesitates, staring at Emma. “I… I wish I knew what to tell you, but I really don’t. But let me know.”

Charlotte hesitates. “I love you.” She hangs up immediately.

Ted stares into space for a moment. “I love you too,” he says into the dead phone.

Emma takes his hand again. “That bad, huh?”   
“That good,” he replies, slowly smiling. “I think… I think there’s a future for this, and that’s enough.”   
She nods. “That’s good. Let’s watch the movie.”   
“Let’s.” Ted starts the movie again, and they spend the rest of the night watching movies and not talking, but it’s a good time nonetheless.

Emma invites him round her house for Christmas because he shouldn't be alone. Her family will be there. He says yes because he doesn't think about what will happen.

What happens — predictably, if you'd thought for a second, which Ted has not — is that Jane steps through the door, son on one arm and husband right behind her, sees Ted, and freezes.

He smiles. "Hi Jane. This must be your husband, then?"

She nods. "Hi… Ted was it? Forgive me, it's been a while."

"You remembered anyway." Ted shrugs and shakes her hand.

"I'm Tom." Jane's husband shakes his hand as well.

"Ted. Friend of Emma's." Ted decides then and there that he's not gonna cause a scene in any way, shape or form. For two reasons; one, Tom looks like he could kill him at a glance, and two, Emma deserves better. The second one should be enough.

Emma smiles and ushers them inside, taking the baby — Tim, apparently — from Jane and gushes over him for a while. Then their parents, Elizabeth and James arrive, and Ted is forced into more social interaction, and more fielding questions from people about what he does. Not that it's hard to explain, but there is inevitably a conversation about relationships, which leaves him the choice of lying and saying that he's single, or lying and saying he has a girlfriend. It's not fun. It's fine.

He survives. Saying the bare minimum and with a practiced fake smile, eventually, Emma's family leaves, and she and Ted are left alone.

"Fuck," Emma says when the door has closed behind Jane. "Why did I invite them?"

"Because they're your family?" Ted smiles at her, but it's probably gloating more than reassuring. "Because you know the alternative is worse?"

Emma glares at him. "What's the alternative?"

"Going to their place. Which, yes, means you can leave whenever if you're not bothered about seeming rude, but it also means you couldn't invite me."

She flips him off. "This is for being right." Then she gives him a hug. "This is for being around.

Ted laughs, but hugs her back. "You're welcome. Better than being alone, I guess."

"Probably." She walks off towards the kitchen. "Don't know about you, but I need a drink after today. Wanna crash?"

Ted grins and follows her. "Sure."

They get very drunk and talk, and it's the best night Ted has had since Melissa and Charlotte left.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stry post the last chapter of Love Before a day early challenge: complete

Charlotte texts him a couple of days after the new year. She’s leaving a day before Sam, driving back to Hatchetfield alone, and if he won’t see her then. He says yes. Of course he says yes.

She knocks on the door just past noon the next day. Melissa still isn’t home, so Ted goes to open.

“Hi.” She smiles and steps inside, already pulling him into a hug.   
“Hey.” He smiles too, holding her close. “I’ve missed you.”   
“I missed you too.” She pulls away just far enough to stretch up to kiss him. “How are you?”

“Alright.” He doesn’t want to let her go, he realises. It shouldn’t surprise him as much as it does. “A bit hungry, I was about to make lunch.” He kisses her. “How are you?”   
She sighs and leans her head against his chest. “I wish I hadn’t stayed away for so long.” She steps away. “But I’m happy to be back.”   
“I’m happy you’re back.” He kisses her and decides to take a chance on some calculated vulnerability. “I love you.”   
She smiles at him. “I love you too.”   
It was worth it, then. “That’s new.” He smiles at takes her hand. “Come on, we can talk while the coffee machine runs.”   
They walk to the kitchen, Charlotte still holding his hand. “I mean it, Ted, I… I do love you.”

“I’m… Glad.” It’s not wrong, exactly, but it feels hopelessly short of what he’s actually feeling. “Does it change anything?”   
“I think…” She sighs. “It’s been less than a year. For me and Sam, I mean, we’ve been married for six months only, it’s… It’s pretty early to get a divorce.”   
“Sure, but…” Ted pulls her close, leaning against the counter to support both their weights. “If you’re just gonna have a divorce anyway, why wait? Suddenly you have kids or a mortgage or something, it’s easier now.” He kisses the top of her head. “I’ve said before, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but you know what I want.”

“I know.” They’re quiet for a few moments. “I think… Sam made me happy, and I always thought he could again. But… You make me happy, so maybe I don’t need Sam to do it.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. We could be happy.” He kisses the top of her head.   
“We could,” Charlotte agrees. “Your heartbeat is racing. I miss… I miss when Sam could make me do that.” She looks up and kisses him. “But I don’t think it’s slow right now.” She takes his hand and puts it on her chest.   
Ted concentrates on her heartbeat for a moment. “It isn’t.” He can feel a slow smile spreading on his face. “Not at all.”

Charlotte smiles too. “I love you.”   
“I love you too.” Ted kisses her. “I’m not good at this, but… I’ll try.”

“That’s all I can ask.” She pulls him close again. “I’m gonna talk to Sam tomorrow.” She sighs. “It won’t be fun, but… You’re right, I think. Why wait?”

“I’m sorry.” Ted is surprised to find that he means it. “This can’t be fun. Let me know if I can do anything to help.”   
“You’re here.” Charlotte leans away to smile. “That’s enough. That will always be enough.”   
“I hope so.” Ted kisses her.

They never do get around to making coffee, but it’s alright, because Charlotte is there and she’s leaving Sam, and she’s leaving Sam for  _ him _ . It’s enough.


End file.
